Meltdown XXXII & Fallout 032 (Aug '23).

Originally posted by CBK.



OOC: This last year of FWA has been rough for me. In moments where I should've been proud of my accomplishments with Summers, I found myself feeling bummed out and unmotivated. After some reflection, I came to the conclusion that Shawn Summers isn't a character that can work in the current FWA. I'm putting Summers on the shelf as an active roster member for the time being. I plan to conclude his story in four pieces throughout the remainder of the year.

I want to end by saying that working with Tommy was an amazing experience, and I don't think a better ending to our feud could've been written.

Originally posted by Shawn.

Following the events of Back in Business XVI in Rio de Janeiro, the following letter was recovered from the hotel of one “Rockstar” Randy Ramon. While the investigation into the events of the evening were ongoing, it remained under custody of the local police, never seeing the light of day.

Now that Randy Ramon has resurfaced, alive and (something approximating) well, the investigation has been closed and the confiscated items have been returned.

Except they haven’t – they were intercepted by a local TMZ-like outlet, and when they could find no financial reason to hold onto this particular item, the decision was made to publish it on the internet.

---

[/HR]



Dear Devin,

If you’re reading this, then it means that fate has ultimately intervened in the most unfortunate way possible. If I finish writing this, then it means that I somehow summoned the courage to say some things that even the deepest bottle of bourbon never permitted me to utter out loud. Wish me luck my friend, as I’m doing my damndest to find the lowest point of that very bottle as I type this on the oldest typewriter known to man.

First off, I need you to know that this was not your fault. Not in some sick, self-stroked ego sort of way… it’s just obviously not your fault.

It’s not like you paid Krash and Black to sneak attack us that night back in 2020.

It’s not like you let them take the tag titles from us a Lights Out in 2021.

It’s not like it’s your fault Krash literally stole my World Title at Mile High.

It’s not your fault, and I’m not suggesting you will, but I want to be sure you don’t blame yourself for what is about to happen.

I’m aware that it’s almost entirely my fault. Also, Krash’s.

Actually, I take it back. It’s all Krash’s fault entirely. Fuck that guy and fuck the Gang Stars.

Anyway, I’m about to end things with him once and for all. He doesn’t know it yet, but tonight is the end for us both, one way or another.

The thing is, I’ve known this night was coming for a long time. Not as in “the night I get revenge” or “the night I punch Krash in the dick hole” or some vague statement like that… this actual night.

I can’t really explain it in writing. Hell, I don’t know if I could actually explain it if you were standing here in front of me. So, if you ever read this, you’re going to have to take my word for it. Plus, if I tried to explain it, you’d just think I was crazy anyway. Which is funny given the state of YOUR mind at this moment. Moving on…

I thought about trying to avoid tonight all together. Get out of the city, out of Brazil, rent a spaceship and get off the planet… any number of things… but it wouldn’t matter. Fate is fate. I even consulted the Book of Wonder, six ways from Sunday, and it always did the same thing: steered me back to calling Violet and setting everything in motion. It’s infuriating, really – for someone to used to being in control to have absolutely no control over his own destiny.

Guess that’s the point of destiny, though, isn’t it?

I also feel the need to apologize. As we came closer and closer to today’s date, I know I became harder and harder to work with. I’ve been less reliable and quicker to anger. It’s not easy for a man to admit he has an expiration date, especially one who has worked through as much shit as I have. None of that is an excuse though, you deserved better. Full stop.

You’ve been my best friend, biggest supporter and at times, my only confidant through everything. How did I repay you? By being a cantankerous shit. By bitching about the littlest things. Complaining about almost every little thing I possibly could.

Oh, and also that REMIX in the middle the ring a few weeks ago. Funny as shit, but probably not completely and totally deserved. I just couldn’t take the solipshitstic coma or whatever you had slipped into it anymore and hoped that would snap you out of it. Wishful thinking, I guess. I promise you though, it was never, ever, personal.

They say that you either die too soon, or live long enough that you become the enemy. I know we always said we were never going to stand opposite one another, but I’ve found some peace knowing that after tonight, we’re never going to have to worry about that.

Finally, I want to thank you. You don’t know it, and maybe you will never fully understand, but you saved my life. Back in 2020, I reached an all-time low. I was ready to take fate into my own hands, and make sure that this night never came. But then from the clouds came a Golden shower, er, savior.

You showed me that life could still be fun. That wrestling could still be fun. That WINNING is fun. And boy, we did do a lot of winning, didn’t we? #BIB2021

If it wasn’t for you, I’d have missed out on several years of fun, and winning, and globetrotting. I’d have never seen your face the first time you held your daughter, or been there the first time you had absinthe, or that time we crossed streams in Belgium. Tonight is going to suck, but it has all been worth it, for the adventures we’ve shared.

I don’t know if you’ll retire, or win seven more World Titles, or die in that ring, but whatever you decide, you absolutely deserve it. You are, were, and always be one of the good ones – even when you’re a humongous asshole, which is obviously most of the time.

I have a hot date with a cold stream tonight, but maybe ours will cross again someday. Wait, that – actually - I’m going to leave it.

I love you brother, thanks again for everything. Carry that Golden Rock flag proudly for me while I'm gone.

And as always...

Originally posted by Rosie.

Originally posted by AON.

Originally posted by AON.

Originally posted by Grim.

“Ḯ̶̪̫̳͇̰͙͔̳͜ ̸͓̭̙̠͎̻͕̥̲̲͇̮͉̟̤͋̈́̅̇͛̌̈̎̚̕d̴̘͈̬͚̗͔̱͗r̸̡̺̯͙̯͉̟̰̈́̈́̉͑͐́̑̅̋̓́̃̕͝͠ͅè̸̢̡͕̲̱̼̞̥̘̭̒̀̾͒̊̔̉̏̍̀̚a̷̧̛͖͙̝͎̜̳̠̳̱̓̀̋͂̔̌͜͝ͅͅm̶̟̦͖̻̟̬̪̗̮̽̏̀͘̚ ̶̧̢͙̠̦͇͌͂̉͊̓̒ő̸̤͇̣̯̞̙͉͍̅́͊͆̋̏ͅf̵̘̼͓͓̰͠ ̴͓̪̱͈̳͇̱̦̠͉̭̫̿́̏̒̎̍͆̆̓̀̽̇̓̎r̵̛̝̈́̅̓̀̉̈́̈́̏̌͋̕͠ȅ̴̟̯̼͑̓̑͛͆̇͛͛͐͛̇͠d̴̦̰͖̖̬̜͛͑͜ͅ ̸̗̥͎͚͎̺̹̜̪̮͑̈͜͜w̷̭̝̬͈̰͎̟͉̫͇̏͊͋͘ͅą̶̛̯͙͔̠͗͂͛͋̑̏̑̕t̸̢̨̻͈̦̯̝̜̩̬͋̈̔̒͂͘͠ͅͅė̴̳̌́̃̐͆͌͊̊̋̎̂̚͝r̸̬͙͙͙̄̒̽͂͐͝,̷̨͍̩̟͎͙͓͚̱̺͉̪̼͓̉ ̸̤̻͓̣̻̹̔̄̈́̌̊͛̀̂̋̒̚͝ͅa̶̫̼͠ͅn̴̢̢̝̖͓͊̂̈͋̌͂ͅd̷̯̼͈͇̟̱͓͔̱͒̂̏͆̈́̀͛̄͑͜͜͠ ̷̣͚̗̎͊̃͆̇̃̒̀s̷̱̦̠̉̓͒́̊͐̾̂̋͑͂̈́͆̇͝į̷̞̫͎̫̳̗̜̦̲̻̫̈̄̽̒̀̌̈̈́̌̆͐͗̾͘n̷̢̢̢̘̼̫̤̟̗̥̈̍͊̆k̵̨̨̭͉̳̠͓͖͖̻̇͐͛̂i̵͙̙̳̠̝͎̭̩͚͇̘͕͔̍̉͗̆̈́̿̑̇̆̿̽̚n̶̰͂̇̑̌͊͝͝͠͝g̵̨̘̘̮̹̝̘̟̮̮͒͊̊̉̈̃ ̴͔̽̏̆͛̕u̸̥͛̃ṋ̶̛͈̗̘̖̪̟̘́̉̇̑̿̓̉d̸͈̟̜̯̣̂͋̓̔̀͘̚ĕ̵̝̰̝̄̾̐͑͆͒͋͆r̶̠͙̻̫̻̮͕̖̟͖͍̲̽̋̾̂̒̊̋͘n̴̢͍̼̭̣̅͒̓͋ͅe̸̡̦͉̝̞̣̦͓̊͌̀͂͜͝a̸̧̱͔̻̫͋̈̀͛͒̂̓̐̕͜t̴̛͕̜̯̙͚̥̦͎͍̜̾́͝h̷̼͙̖̮͕̤̊̀̄̽̒͒͆̂͊̆̂̉.̸̜̰͈̰͓̫̻̠̪̐͛̒̈́̈́̄̅̓̑͆̊͜͠͠”



She can feel herself sinking, slowly being driven down into the inky crimson blackness of this void. She watches the surface go further and further away from her. Her breaths escape her, and her will to resurface drains away. All she can think about now is… simply to keep going. Further and further down, into the darkness below. What is the point of coming back up? The red, watery depths are where she belongs. There is nothing in this world for her anymore. The crimson waters have washed away all the glory, prizes, and missions. Any safe harbor has been swept into its clutches. The sun that once fed the world life has given way to worrying clouds of darkness. The world is no more; all that is left is to sink.

It is destiny that she should not fight it any longer. It’s her place in the world, after all. Like all those with hope, dreams, and fantasies, she will be swept away by time and her superiors. They tell you to “shoot for the moon, and even if you don’t land, you’ll be among the stars.” Yet they don’t tell you how triumphant pride precipitates a dizzying fall. Oh, how to come so close to your dreams… yet be so far from touching them!

All that’s left for her is to be swallowed whole by the abyss; for her breath to draw to an end, and to be embraced by the cold touch of death. She feels so constricted now as she clutches her throat, and her eyes grow wide in shock and despair! She isn’t ready for the end yet! The light on the surface grows weaker and weaker. She reaches for it, crying out wordlessly for it to return to her. Yet she can’t get there…
Aka Yurei awakes in her bed, caked in a cold sweat, grasping the air for something. Anything. Some sort of feeling she can grab onto other than the wallowing pit of despair and misery she keeps finding herself in. She isn’t sure where she is. Her other hand reaches about on the surface that she lies on… It’s soft, comfortable, and for lack of a better term, it’s… safe. Yet she feels so distant and out of place. When she rises from her prone position, she peers over to the alarm clock that sits on her desk that sits on her nightstand. In luminescent LED green, the clock flashes the time. 04:35 AM… It’s too damn early, but Aka’s seemingly been getting up at this time the last few nights. She looks around more into her surroundings. Yeah, this is her bedroom, alright– So what is this nagging feeling eating away at her?

There’s this sense that she doesn’t even exist, a feeling of identity lost. She’s dissociated from herself. It’s all she can do, to be honest. To keep from screaming, crying, and perhaps from feeling so much vindictive anger in her soul. Not some time ago, Aka Yurei and her partner were in a wrestling ring. Not just any squared circle– but the biggest stage of them all. Back in Business: The grandest event in the FWA. The show from which legends are made. So where’s Aka Yurei’s epoch? Well, it doesn’t exist. Maybe it never really existed in the first place. I suppose it was just some faint dream held onto with naive apprehension. It wasn’t so much losing that hurt Aka Yurei. She’s been defeated before, and she’ll continue to do so time and time again. It was who she lost to, and the way she lost. Once again, she never even mattered. An afterthought in the aftermath. It all came down to the Champions, and their little drama– Their little issues– THEIR STORY.

What even is the fucking point? Aka Yurei continues to have these thoughts float in the back of her mind. She tries to shake it out as she crawls her aching body out of bed. All she needs is a hot shower and some hot coffee, which’ll be like the last few days. Continuing, ongoing, and void of any real meaning, all while horrid dreams plague her at night. She turns and looks at herself in the mirror propped up in the wall. Who even is that in the mirror? Well, she’s pretty, that’s for sure, but how come Aka Yurei doesn’t feel like herself anymore?

On the other side of the house, there was Aka’s partner. She sat at a desk, reading through pages of a black leatherbound tome. On the front came bold Chinese lettering, and underneath it, sat its English translation: “The Art of War” by the legendary philosopher Sun Tzu. Keiko Hirabayashi looks dead to rights. She has not slept since the day of the fateful fight. Deep bags form under her eyes. Yes, it has been three days since she last slept. It is this unhealthy obsession, that seems to have completely taken over her. She relives the event of Back in Business over and over again. She couldn’t do anything to affect the outcome; she was not responsible for the final decision. She and Aka Yurei didn’t win, but… everyone will say they lost, despite not being soundly or decisively defeated. The words of Sun Tzu echo in her head, “Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.” A simple quote, but Keiko peers over it again and again. Behind her, in the back of the room, sits a mirror, halfway covered, but just enough to keep anyone looking above the waist from being able to see themselves…

Keiko slams the book down after a bit of time in frustration and grasps another book. This black paperback piece, with gold-colored indentations on the spine. In the same lettering, the book's name is written: “Necronomicon: The Best Weird Tales of H.P. Lovecraft”. In these tales, there is an overwhelming theme of unknowable, and inexplicable horrors, that come from the stars, or the seas. Perhaps the thing that captures Keiko’s imagination is the horrible mysteries of the sea. In the history of mankind, we have explored nearly every plot of land on Earth by the late-20th Century; there are no more worlds to discover, and there is nothing left to colonize by the powers that be.

Yet in the vastness of the world, we have only discovered a fraction of the world underwater. Indeed, the ocean is so vast in its mystery that we will likely never discover everything there is to know. Some people cannot fathom what lies below; thus they fear it. Such a thing is called Thalassophobia: the fear of the ocean deep. Its unknowable and aquatic depths bring much mystique to so many people. Yet as time passes, the ocean has begun to swallow lands whole.

The many stories of Lovecraft detail this point profoundly, such as his most famous writings: Dagon, The Call of Cthulhu, and The Shadow Over Innsmouth. Keiko pours over these pieces of text as if her life depends on it. Yet her head continues to droop and nod. She’s tired, desperately so; that tends to happen when you’ve gone nearly three days without sleep. “I refuse to be humiliated like this–!” She exclaims and slams her hands down upon the wooden desk. She mutters to herself and walks out of the library, looking to make herself yet another cup of coffee in the kitchen. It’s all the thoughts of her being considered a failure that pops into her head– She hates these thoughts. They pull some deep, long-repressed memories from her subconscious out, like a zombie rising from the proverbial grave. If she sleeps, it’ll come to her in the middle of her slumber, and snatch her mind like a robber. This is why she can’t sleep. She needs validation, she needs proof that she isn’t a failure.

Steam begins to build up in one of the other rooms of the house. Hot water shoots from a shower head down into the bath basin below. Aka washes her face with this stream of comforting water. Sometimes, the only thing someone needs is a nice hot shower. Her hands gently press themselves against the white tiles of the shower. Her head nods a little bit, she still feels tired after that horrible dream she’s been having, then rests her forehead against those porcelain tiles. Their cold stony feel is nice against the incredible warmth of the falling water upon her body. Droplets of water bounce against Aka’s skin, and she closes her eyes for a second. It’s the only moment of solace she seems like she’s able to get lately.

After a few moments though, her mind seems to slip away. It becomes blank as the torrent of hot water rains down on her repeatedly. It’s kind of nice, to be honest; to not have to think about anything, to not feel anxiety or frustration or sadness over not achieving her goals. It’s the blankness of the moment, and the simplicity of a hot shower that she chose, rather than a cold one, that puts her mind at ease. It doesn’t last for long though.

A few seconds is all that was needed for that sinking feeling to settle in. Aka opened her eyes and looked to see herself sinking yet again. The bottom of the tub completely disappeared, and the water that rushed down and pooled more and more into the tub was that remarkable shade of red, like in her dream. At first, it was slow, but the moment Aka opened her eyes, it became a sudden drop. Deep into the inky-red watery depths. Her entire body is submerged, and she struggles mightily to keep her head above. She flails and desperately attempts to cling to something, anything. Yet she fails, and underneath she goes. She gasps for breath as water rushes into her lungs. She chokes and coughs and violently thrashes for anything to help save her. There is nothing that will come to her aid. The light from the bathroom seemingly continues to grow fainter and fainter, the deeper she goes into this oceanic body that has emerged from her tub. She feels the darkness taking her, and as if the hands of fate pull her down, she finally relents and releases herself into the cold embrace of death.

Of course, when she opens her eyes for real, she finds herself lying in the fetal position of her bathtub, the hot water still coming down on her. She feels something other than the running water coming down her face. It’s instead tears falling from her eyes. This has been her nightmare ever since the loss. The same dream every time she closes her eyes. At first, it was once a night. Then it became when she slept in bed. Now it’s even when she naps; something has overtaken her dreams, and she does not know how to purge it. She crawls out of the shower, and wraps herself in a towel, kneeling onto the toilet. Aka simply rests her head against her knees and silently weeps. It’s too much for her. First, that incident with that ladder that kept growing; now this? Nevertheless, she needs to push forward. She has to be strong; so she might as well get on with this abnormal day. Some coffee will be nice.

It is here where these two girls, our protagonists, victims, and mentally fucked human beings run into one another, just getting a cup of coffee to keep from thinking about other things. Keiko hasn’t changed out of her clothes from yesterday; they’re pretty much not as clean as they were 24 hours ago. Her own branded T-shirt, thigh-long jean-shorts with some blue DC sneakers, and some black socks. Pretty good-looking in casual attire, if you ask me at least. Aka on the other hand, just got out of the shower, and to be honest, changed into whatever worked today. A red tank top over a black sports bra, and shorts that were even shorter than Keiko’s. They both make eye contact with one another, as Keiko pours some of the brown caffeinated nectar into a white mug emblazoned with the English ship the HMS Victory, the oldest serving vessel in naval history.

There’s an awkward silence between the two. They haven’t exchanged much talk since Back in Business. Maybe they were too embarrassed to admit that they couldn’t face such a huge defeat. Maybe they both understood that they needed space. It doesn’t matter, does it? Nevertheless, we see a great juxtaposition between the two. Aka has slept every night but with this recurring dream of hers, this nightmare of suffocating under pressure. Keiko has refused to sleep and knows that doing so may bring some terrible thoughts back to the surface. Keiko’s hands seemingly tremble a little bit, not out of tension or fear… she’s just so tired.

“H-hey– Keiko. Another sleepless night, huh?” Aka calls out to her partner and, I guess friend? “Ah, A-chan. Yeah… still can’t sleep.” Keiko calls back, taking a seat after finishing pouring some coffee out. Aka sits on the opposite side of the table, and isn’t sure how to start a conversation… Keiko sighs and turns to Aka, following a sip of coffee from her cup. “Well, they’re giving us a rematch against the champions…” Aka’s eyes flicker a little and her ears twitch upon hearing the news. “Oh– Is that so? That’s nice of them.” Aka stares down at her drink. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up. It’ll just be the same story; her white whale: The FWA Tag Team Champions still have the FWA World Heavyweight Championship in their possession. As long as that fact remains, there’s no reason to be excited. She couldn’t do it against Golden Rock, and she couldn’t do it against FTN. “Why in the hell does FWA allow double champions in the first place?”, Aka thinks to herself. Maybe it’s not fair to judge a company for having such good competition, but she does feel a sense of bitterness.
“You know, something A-chan? I fucking hate this.” For the first time since they’ve teamed up again, there’s a sense of anger and frustration from Keiko. She’s supposed to be the one who’s calm and cool under pressure. Yet here she is, livid at the circumstances. “I hate everything about this. I can’t sleep knowing that people think we’re just another team now. How we didn’t win at the biggest show of the year. Most of all, I hate those pricks, Peacock and Black. They waltz out there, in their goddamn truck, acting like fools. I don’t care that one of them is the World Champion. Why should we go out there and wrestle if they’re not gonna take anything seriously?” It’s cutting words, but she means every word. Keiko’s aggravated at everything.

“I know how you feel. I’m still upset over the loss too–” Aka begins to speak but she’s immediately cut off by Keiko slamming a fist down at the table, causing Aka to jump a little. “We didn’t lose! Don’t ever say we lost that match! We weren’t pinned, and we didn’t give up! I don’t care what anyone says.” She speaks in a rough tone, not necessarily angry at Aka, but stern enough to point out that she isn’t happy with the idea of being labeled a loser. Aka’s unfortunately fallen into that sort of line of thought. “Sorry, Keiko. I get it though. It just… happened again to me. To be so close and to have it ripped from me by some other team’s issues.” She reminds herself yet again of that Golden Rock match. The kick that knocked her out still reverberates in her mind, and how Devin Golden and Randy Ramon tore apart during the match. Then it flashes forward to Back in Business, with Alyster Black pushing Chris Peacock off the ladder and into the mass of humanity below. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so deliciously ironic.

Not to mention that the one time Aka beat a legendary team, she lost the title immediately to another legendary team, and was betrayed by her partner afterwards. Now she has to attempt to push all that aside one more time, and now face off against FTN one more time, where they could definitively lose here. It’s so suffocating. “So what did you dream about tonight, A-chan? The same thing again?” Keiko breaks up the thoughts by asking the same question she’s asked Aka every morning: what has she been dreaming about? “Yeah– I keep dreaming of the same thing. Ever since that loss. It keeps coming back to me and I feel scared, Keiko. I dream of red water, and sinking underneath.” Aka answers honestly. She doesn’t understand why it’s this dream in particular, but she feels some sense of deep, underlying dread. Keiko looks at Aka, and this expression of concern and worry washes over her face, if only for a moment. “I think you keep putting too much pressure on yourself, A-chan. I’m sorry that I may push you hard too… I just want us to be the best. I’m sorry you’re struggling with this…” Keiko sighs a little and stands back up, shifting everything over to be next to Aka.

Aka peers over to Keiko, and realizes she’s much closer now. A little red tint glows on her face before Keiko rests a hand on Aka’s shoulder. “I don’t know why, Keiko. I just don’t feel like myself lately. I’m starting to feel more and more like the ghost I pretend to be. Part of me just… feels like I’m slowly only able to feel alive when I put on that facepaint. Maybe I’m just tired, or maybe this dream is making me feel like I’m losing it. I just– I don’t want to feel like I’m going crazy anymore.” Before Aka knows it, she’s embraced in a tight hug. Keiko holds her closely and refuses to let go for a long time. “You’re not going crazy, A-chan. We’re both just frustrated and angry. Those two champions get to walk away from things without a care in the world. Y’know what the issue is, I think? I don’t think Alyster Black or Chris Peacock even know what it’s like. They do what they like and they don’t care about anyone else. Not really, anyways… I– They’ve never struggled with personal stuff, and they have all the success in the world. You had to claw your way off the streets after running from an abusive family, and you were strong, A-chan. Even with your problems, even though you sold yourself on the streets, even though you felt like killing yourself… You held on and you made something of yourself. You’re stronger than anyone else in this company. You’ve got a lot more heart in you than many others.”

Aka feels a little comforted by the words. Her heart beats a bit from it, and she does feel that sense of lost identity begin to dissipate from her. “Thanks, Keiko. I appreciate it… You’re pretty strong too though. What with how your childhood was, from how you told me about it. It was rough for you but you held on and were stronger for it. How many people in the FWA can say they’ve struggled the way we have?” The two share a smile with one another, and Aka leans over a little closer to Keiko. Their tired bodies rest up against one another, and they both seem to soften up their troubles with one another. At this moment, they feel a sense of emotional warmth together that seemingly pushes away their troubles. “Do you think we have a chance against FTN? I mean, genuinely, seriously?” Aka sighs and wonders aloud.

“If I’m honest, A-chan? I think we do, but… it depends on how things play out. It’s just… we both know we’re not established yet. You may be a former FWA Tag Team Champion but… we’re not exactly the stars that maybe FTN are. Maybe that’s what’s holding us back. I know we’re better than them. I know that they still have problems, as much as they want to pretend they don’t. You don’t think Alyster Black doesn’t want the World Title for himself? Not to mention I’m sure Chris is thinking about Randy Ramon–” That name that gets mentioned has Aka turn to Keiko, with a bit of a sad face. “You don’t need to remind me. He still gives me nightmares.” Aka laughs a little, but she wishes she was joking. That Golden Rock match stood as the white whale; the abyssal shame of her career. “Could you imagine if Golden Rock got back together? I think I’d die a little on the inside having to compete against them.” Keiko snickers a little and pats Aka’s head. “I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon.”

“I know that, Keiko. Just trying to find a little humor in things, knowing that we’ve gotta focus on FTN. I don’t want to let you down again. They’re really good; they’re just like Golden Rock, The Connection, and honestly, even a little like Executive Excellence. I am so blessed to have been given that opportunity and won against Excellence… It’s just hard to keep going like that. When I won the title I… guess I froze a little. I wasn’t sure where to go from there. I let that excitement get to me and I lost it all in the blink of an eye. The Connection and FTN are just more people ready to pound me into the dust and ruin my dreams. It’s why I’ve been feeling so out of place, especially after Back in Business ended. All I could feel was pain, but nothing else; I didn’t even feel any sense of life in me. Like everything had been washed away and all that was left was… just this husk. Maybe that’s why I’ve been dreaming about suffocating and drowning in this darkness. The pressure’s getting to me, Keiko. Not to mention this house continues to weird me out sometimes–” Keiko cuts Aka off immediately, a bit of an annoyed tone in her voice, but still firm in her trust in Aka. “That’s why we have to do our best here. We both need this match more than they do. That Back in Business match should have opened our eyes to that fact. Maybe FTN doesn’t think this match matters all that much. They already won at Back in Business… but A-chan– Yurei Aka…” The formal name-calling of Aka Yurei catches her by surprise. Keiko never calls her by her name. It’s always the nickname affectionately given by Keiko. Aka turns her head and sees fiery desperation and determination in Keiko’s eyes.

“I need this match more than life; more than God himself. I’m desperate for this. I have to win. I need to win, Aka. We need to win. Life will go on regardless of the outcome, but can we say for certain that we belong here if we cannot win this second chance that has been so graciously given to us? Can either of us live with ourselves if we can’t do what we’ve always dreamed of? Will another opportunity like this come again? Simply put A-chan… If we lose this match… then my entire belief in us is proven wrong. We aren’t the best then. We…” Keiko peters out a little after that, mumbling something incoherently to herself. She turns away from Aka and rests her head on the table. Even with a fresh set of coffee, her tiredness is definitely starting to kick her ass. “If we aren’t the best, then we might as well drown in the deepest depths of mediocrity… your red ocean from your dreams.”

Aka frowns a little and understands the feelings. It’s the first time Keiko’s ever felt vulnerable to Aka, for as long as they’ve known one another. Keiko’s supposed to be the rock of this team; she’s cool, calculated, and she is the motivational force. Aka’s the heart, but Keiko’s supposed to be the soul of the team. Yet the “soul” is feeling an identity crisis, while the heart’s suffering from murmurs. This team is close to breaking under the weight of their wishes, hopes, and dreams. Aka reflects for a moment on her time spent feeling isolated. For many things, she has always had to do it alone. In the streets, the only company she ever spent time with was a paying customer. Though that company’s warmth was welcome, it was only fleeting and entirely finite. That kind of bond was still superficial, to begin with. It wasn’t real. It was never heartfelt.

Aka thinks back to her mentor’s warmth. Brian Zewbowski, to whom was his most dedicated disciple. She wonders where he is now; Aka supposes he’s back in his home of Sleepy Oak, Minnesota, “The Most Haunted City in America”; she also wonders if he’s still hanging out with that weird private investigator or something. She does think about the possible excitement of his daughter potentially joining the FWA soon, but she knows that it’s a pipe dream for someone so young. Sarah Dubois jumps into her memory too, the conversations they’d have. Sarah still texts Aka sometimes too. The last time she texted was after Back in Business. [“It’s a shame you didn’t win, Aka! You guys put on a hell of a match; Brian and I were cheering you on the whole way!”] At the time, it was a little consolation knowing that her mentor and friend were watching… but it didn’t put her mind at ease.

Aka then thinks about Keiko. For a time before this, they were thick as thieves, and it was the first time that Aka didn’t feel– completely alone. That was before they split apart the first time. Yet they understand each other better now. Maybe Aka hasn’t completely accepted some things deep inside her, but, speaking candidly, Keiko has accepted Aka now for who she is. A deeply flawed person with so many wonderful qualities. Aka wonders if Keiko had anyone besides her back then, or if Aka was, and is, all Keiko has. The Mistress, as she was known in Japan, didn’t seem to have very many friends back then.

“I– I know I’m always a downer, but to be honest… I want to win as much as you do. I also need this win, you know. I know I won the titles, but everyone thinks it was just a fluke. That’s all my career’s been, to some people. Fluke win after fluke win, but when I’m up against real competition, I fold like a deck of cards. It’s true; I’m scared of failure and not being able to live up to all the potential that my mentor thought I had. His words still ring out to me, ya know? There was a time when… I almost quit. I almost decided to quit and go back to being miserable, because I just… thought I couldn’t make it here.” Aka takes a moment to reflect on that time, a year and a half ago, before the Golden Rock match. The anger and sadness and frustration exuded from her mentor’s voice. The words were harsh, but they also were meaningful. Brian meant what he said about Aka back then. She shifts her eyes to check up on Keiko, who hasn’t risen her head from the table. Aka isn’t sure if Keiko’s even listening anymore, or maybe she finally fell asleep. It doesn’t entirely matter though. “Yeah– Sensei was pretty pissed. He hurt my feelings, but he was right in the end. He told me, ‘You had the whole damn world in your hands, and all it would have taken was even a little caring, and you could be a champion…’ Well, he proved me right. I had to focus, and lo and behold, I became a champion here. It just wasn’t at that moment. I wasn’t ready yet. But you know something, Keiko?”

“Yeah, A-chan…?” Keiko grumbles out, keeping her head resting on the table. Aka has a small grin on her face, now knowing Keiko was responsive and had been listening the whole time. A sort of revelation hits her. Both girls have suffered through their struggles alone, in some fashion. “I think we’re a pretty damn good team. I think you and I could be champions if we also focused: together. However, part of life is overcoming failure. So honestly, Keiko. Whether we win this match or not… it doesn’t matter in the end. It’s how we stay true and believe in ourselves. Maybe we’ll lose this match. Sure, it might feel like we’ll just drown in our failure, dream more of red water, and how we’ll sink underneath… maybe that’ll happen. But to be honest; I’d rather do it together, than alone, which is what the both of us have done all our lives. I don’t want to be afraid of the abyss if I know I won’t be going down alone but with my partner.”

Keiko is silent for a few moments, but then an audible chuckle is heard emanating from her. Keiko understands what Aka’s talking about, and to be honest, those words do hit her hard. Keiko knows that Aka has problems, but Keiko’s got issues too, and she shouldn’t have to be afraid of dealing with them alone. She has someone very near and dear to her right now. “Heh… Not just your partner, A-chan. Your best friend, and someone who loves you very much. I’m glad I have someone like you– I also wanted to hear you say we’d get through this together. It honestly makes me feel… better about myself, knowing I won’t have to be alone in my struggles either. We both need this match, but– we need each other more than anything. I really really want to win this match, and prove everyone wrong but… even if it doesn’t happen, the blow will be softened knowing you’re here… Thanks…” Keiko trails off again, and after a few seconds, we begin to hear some soft snoozes. Keiko has slept for the first time in three days, and all it really took was a little talk with Aka. Aka, for her part, just smiles and rubs Keiko’s head gently. Her eyes glisten as she watches Keiko sleep. A little red blush appears on her cheeks too, after Keiko told Aka that she loved her. It’s a weird feeling, and Aka doesn’t quite know what to make of it– but she accepts it graciously because it’s something heartfelt from Keiko.

Thalassophobia is the fear of the ocean deep. Many are afraid of drowning in this part of the ocean alone, in the vast emptiness that is underwater. Keiko and Aka are both afraid of their own problems, which could very well bring them to drowning in misery themselves and falling into an ocean of despair. The fear of the deep sea or in the case of Aka Manto, suffering alone, can be broken, with lots of work. Keiko Hirabayashi and Aka Yurei both would rather they work through their issues together, than go it alone. Maybe there really was something to Aka’s dreams and Keiko’s book obsessions. Or maybe there wasn’t. Maybe Aka Manto will overcome FTN. Maybe they won’t. As Moses of the book of Exodus spread the Red Sea for the Jewish people leaving Egypt, they caught a glimpse of what the bottom of the ocean looked like. For that solitary moment in time, they all sank to the bottom together and crossed safely into new horizons. It’s time for Aka Manto to also cross through the dangerous threshold, and into their own horizons together.