huh
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Post by huh on Sept 15, 2024 2:16:14 GMT
October 9th, 2021 - Arena Internacional, Ciudad Juárez, Mexico 1...
2....
3!!!!!!
The bell rings as both contestants separate from the jumbled scrum they were entwined in and lay prone on the mat, breathing heavily.Commentator 1: “He got him!!! What a match, and what a near-shock this crowd tonight has witnessed in the King of Juarez tournament!! The Pan-American Wrestling Intercontinental Champion, pushed to nearly 30 minutes by this unknown luchador, this man who everyone thought was a joke entrant!”
Commentator 2: “You saw the true grit, the true heart of a champion on display tonight! Because though he had to resort to a rollup to finally win, Pacorro got the job done and advances on to the next round!! My word though, wouldn’t it have been a real shocker if after all the ballyhoo about his entry, the PAW Intercontinental Champion had fallen at the first hurdle of King of Juarez 21!!”Pacorro gets up on his knees and then slowly stands up and lets the referee raise his arm. As his defeated opponent rolls out of the ring and starts beelining up the ramp of the arena, Pacorro quickly steps away from the referee and demands a microphone. The ring announcer hustles to comply with the request. Pacorro: “HOLD ON JUST ONE SECOND!! WAIT!!”His opponent stops right before exiting the ramp area, as the yelling crowd loudly informs him that Pacorro is speaking to him.
“You… you…”The opponent turns around and looks at Pacorro, who is pointing at him from the ring while stopping to catch his breath. “You are one crazy motherfucker, you know that??”The crowd cheers on Pacarro’s acknowledgement of his opponent. “You come in here, dressed like that, name like that… Pacarro didn’t fly all the way from Chile to Mexico to win by a rollup, no!! Pacarro came to SEEK AND DESTROY!!! Yet even though the ref raised my hand, even though I advance to tomorrow night, I don’t feel like a winner…”Pacarro’s opponent waves him off and applauds him in the ring, as if to assure Pacarro that he indeed was the winner tonight. “What are you hiding behind that silly name? Who’s hiding under that mask?? You can’t fool me, you’re no novice, you’re not just some indy guy!! No beginners luck leads to someone chain wrestling with Pacarro like this!! Tell you what, why don’t we have a rematch at PAW?? I am formally inviting you right now, after I win the King of Juarez tournament, you can challenge me in Santiago, you can challenge me in Bogata, hell, maybe we can do it in Arena Mexico!!!”The crowd cheers at the premise of a rematch happening in Arena Mexico. “No matter what, me and you… me and you, this is not over!! And when we meet again, I won’t be underestimating you again, I will have you taste the full force of the GUATEMOC, and we will settle this once and for like MEN!!! What do you say, my funny friend?? I am inviting you right now, to PAW!! What’s say you??”The crowd cheers both the mention of Pacorro’s finishing maneuver which they did not witness successfully executed and that Pacarro threatening this luchador must mean that he respects the opponent. El Hijo De La Quesadilla stops for a moment to catch his own breath before yelling “Until next time!” up the ramp to Pacorro in the ring. As the crowd cheers the somewhat ambiguous answer, Pacorro shakes his head. Someone hands him his PAW Intercontinental Championship belt, and he raises the belt high above his head as El Hijo De La Quesadilla finally disappears through the curtain backstage amidst the round of applause.
-------------------------------------------------------
El Hijo De La Quesadilla stumbles into one of the small locker rooms of Arena Internacional. He immediately collapses down on an old wooden bench next to a row of lockers.
Hah… a rollup… he got me…. motherfucker got me… with a rollup!!! Really??
He gropes around for his bag amongst a row of bags and finds it. He quickly takes a swig of water from his bottle.
He got me…. Never saw it coming….
El Hijo De La Quesadilla gets up and stumbles towards the showers. He had time for a quick rinse, and then designs to immediately head towards the airport. Kacey’s bout is tomorrow, hope theres no delay in the flight back… might as well grab the check and bounce now then… man, a rollup? I hope this thing was being recorded… I have to watch that sequence back….
Just before he gets to the showers though, the door of the locker room bursts open. Four brawny men who El Hijo De La Quesadilla did not recognize walk into the room. They stare at El Hijo De La Quesadilla.
El Hijo De La Quesadilla stares back at them. I wondered what I would do if something like this happened….El Hijo De La Quesadilla puts his arms up in front of himself. EHDLQ: “Ehhh....Hola, amigos! Uh…. no quiero…problemas! Mr. Gael… no, um… pagar dinero???”The men look at one another. M1: “Es él?”
The man closest to El Hijo De La Quesadilla takes a look and nods. M2: “Eso parece.”Welp.
The four men rush El Hijo De La Quesadilla, who is able to parry the first man sideways while smashing the second man in the face with an uppercut elbow strike. However-
*smack*
The third man lands a punch onto El Hijo De La Quesadilla’s torso.
Brass knuckles…
El Hijo De La Quesadilla crumples to the floor of the locker room as the men beat him down. The trauma to his ribs makes it impossible to breathe. The fourth man takes out a lead pipe and smashes it against El Hijo De La Quesadilla’s back. “Wh.. why?? Mr. Gael…”The man El Hijo De La Quesadilla had elbowed grabs El Hijo De La Quesadilla by his starting-to-tear mask and speaks in English. M2: “We no work Mr. Gael, chino.”The man then picks El Hijo De La Quesadilla up and hurls him into the lockers head-first.
So… this isn’t about tonight's paycheck?
One of the men grabs El Hijo De La Quesadilla as he slumps down on the benches and tosses him into the shower area.
Then why?
One man collars El Hijo De La Quesadilla and forces him upwards while the other lands more brass-knuckle-aided punches to the gut.
Why…M2: “Finish, quick, before someone comes. Break his arms. I will photograph as proof.”Why does it always end like this for me…El Hijo De La Quesadilla is too weakened to resist as the men seize and straighten out his right arm, before…
*crack*
El Hijo De La Quesadilla falls to the ground again, released as a scream sounds from back at the locker area.
M2: “Who the fuck-”El Hijo De La Quesadilla watches motionlessly as another man has entered the locker room and taken out one of the attackers. The man then launches himself forward and smashes a flying knee square into M2’s face. M2 falls backward as the remaining two men charge the new entrant. One man takes a wide swing with the pipe and immediately eats a headbutt. The last man with the brass knuckles tries to get in a body shot, but the new entrant spears him down beforehand. The knuckles fly free, and the new entrant into the room catches them and uses them to brutal effect, ground and pounding the original attacker into a pulp. As one of the other men stirs, the new entrant hops up, sizes up his prey, and charges forward, punting him in the head, shin fully contacted. El Hijo De La Quesadilla tries to pull himself up, but is still too paralyzed by the pain. He feels himself almost flitting in and out of consciousness as the new entrant walks up to him, bloodied brass knuckles still in his right hand. “.......what are…. What are you doing here…”
“Shhh, don’t speak. Hold on, brother.”
The new entrant crouches down and quickly takes the torn and ripped mask off of El Hijo De La Quesadilla’s head. “Jesus, why’d they do this to you?? Was Gael trying to stiff you???”
“Don’t.. Know…”
El Hijo De La Quesadilla grips onto the new entrant, who tries to drag El Hijo De La Quesadilla up, but he cannot as El Hijo De La Quesadilla’s legs give out. The two of them slump back down on the floor, in a quasi-hug.
“Don’t fall asleep on me just yet bud, we gotta get out of here, this is enemy territory, apparently…”
“Why… you even here… Danny?”Danny Toner gives the man an exasperated look as he grunts and tries to drag him up a second time, this time successfully. Danny Toner: “Aw come on, it almost sounds like you’re not happy to see your old pal Danny, your old friend who's been looking for you ever since the Warehouse! Alright now, let's go.”
“… just… surprised…”Danny drags El Hijo De La Quesadilla up towards the doorway. “Which bag is yours? I’ll get it, just stay awake. Is your passport in there?”Danny holds up El Hijo De La Quesadilla as the luchador stumbles again, coughing and wheezing for breath.
“Easy now, you’re fine, you’re fine! No worries, one step at a time, we’ll make it out of here, just take it easy. Your boy Danny’s got you, I got this. I’m here for you, okay?”
“.....thank you, Danny….”
------------------------------------------------------- “Guys… this is a huge issue…”
September 14th, 2024 - The NTR Lair, Ashburn, VA
“Just use control+F. Even I know that.”“I’ve done that already for like 10 different pages, and I still can’t find anything!! What is the Gimmick Infringement Office?? I’ve never even seen that office anywhere on the FWA org charts in the sharepoint!!!”Traffic Cone #2 throws his hand-mitts up in the air and pouts at his computer screen. “Did you find anything on proboards?”
TC2: “Nothing!!! Nada!!! Nil!!!” Owen scratches his head and looks over TC2’s shoulder at the computer screen. Jhunha sits sideways on the old NTR Lair coach, his large frame taking up most of the couch by himself. Owen: “What about on smarks?”“Fuck that, not going on that site again.”“Fair enough… you know TC, we could just ask the administrators for more information about the Gimmick Infringement Office and Joe-"
“And expose the fact that I’m washed and out of touch and haven’t always kept up with the LORE the last few years?? NEVER!!! ARGHGHHGG!!!!!!!!!!!”TC2 shakes his plastic folding Costo desk in frustration. “Chill bud, let me drive for a little bit, maybe I can search up something…”TC2 acquiesces and stands up so that Owen can sit in the computer chair. “What am I gona do, Jhunha?? I can’t find any information on Joe Burr!!! How am I supposed to promo against this, this enigma??? No sign ups anywhere, not a peep on proboards, no nothing!!” Jhunha shrugs.Jhunha: “Promo? Who cares? Just punch him in the face at the Anniversary Show. Easy”“Oh Big J, I wish I was as colossal as you and could just do that!! I can’t though, it's not that simple!! I have to adhere to the “99 Lessons on How To Get Over” that Danny and Professor Rondo taught me, or else I’ll NEVER get over!! And Lesson #2 makes it super clear that I have to SHOOT on Joe Burr!!!”Jhunha stretches his legs and stands up, his head nearly accidentally hitting the basement ceiling.
“Well, I’m going to go upstairs and check on how far along Kenny and Quinn have gotten. TC, your anxiety is kind of killing my buzz.”
“WELL I CAN’T HELP IT!!! LEVERAGING ANXIETY AND INNER TURMOIL IS LESSON #18!!!”As Jhunha trudges up the stairs and out of the basement, TC2 dramatically heaves himself on the now-vacant couch. “Better than a pickle being in me I guess, but right now I'm in a pickle, Owen!!! How do I SHOOT on a ghost?? A phantom???”Owen swivels the chair over and motions towards TC2. “TC, I might have found something.”“REALLY????? LEMME SEE!!!!”TC2 hops up and waddles over to the computer as Owen clicks around some more. “So I scraped this page of a webpage archive, but this is what I found on Mr. Joe Burr…”Owen clicks a few more times and then gets off of the computer chair. TC2 jumps into the drivers seat and clicks around on the mouse some more. “Wow… this is actually kinda extensive, great find Owen!!”
“Is it now? I didn’t look it over yet, I just found the page, what does it say?”“I think I got it!! I think I got it!!!! Do you have the camera ready, Owen? I’m gona start SHOOTING on Joe Burr!!! This is PERFECT!!!!!”
Owen looks around and sees that none of the recording equipment that they might be able to use is ready.“.... I’m just gona record it on my phone, that cool?”
“Yeah, totally!!!”TC2 hops off of the computer chair and grabs a whiteboard marker from the NTR Lair whiteboard wall. After drawing two angry eyebrows over his eyes, he waddles back to the computer and plays his theme song mp3 on VLC Player. ♪I’VE SEEN INSIDE MY HEAAAAAAAAD A VISION, NEVER THE OUTCOME YOU’LLLL BE WISHING FORRRR!!!!!♪“Okay Owen, I’m ready, you ready??”Owen lifts his phone up and gives TC2 a visual cue. “Ready bud, 3….2…1…. Action!”“JOE BURR, YOU LISTEN HERE AND YOU LISTEN GOOD, YOU LITTLE STUFFED SLUT!!! YOU WANNA WALK AROUND HERE, YOU WANNA WALK AROUND FWA WITH YOUR BUTTERY SKIN TONE, YOUR PERKY BREASTS, YOUR PEACHY ASS IN THAT ITTY BITTY RED LACE G-STRING????? WELL NEWS FLASH FOR YOU, NTR AND TC2, WE DON’T. PLAY. THAT. SHIT, YA HEARD??? I’M A TRAFFIC CONE, I ONLY NEED THE APPROVAL OF DANNY, NOVA, AND RYAN TO STAY RIGID AND ERECT!!! BUT I’M ALSO ALL ABOUT SAFETY, SO I KNOW BETTER THAN TO EVER GET IN THE RING WITH A BACK DOOR HUSSY LIKE YOU WITHOUT PROTECTION!!! YOU SEE, SINCE I’M A CONE, I’M ALLLLLLLL ABOUT THAT RUBBER!!! SO NO, YOUR COCKTEASING WAYS AIN’T GONA WORK ON ME!! JOE BURR, YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, LETTING ALL THOSE MEN FUCK YOU AND ANNIVERSA-PEE ON YOU, COATING YOU WITH GOD KNOWS WHAT, UM, SUCKING AND FUCKING YOUR WAY ACROSS FWA AND STUFF…”TC2 tries to side-eye the computer screen and remember the available material.
“YOU…ALWAYS WALKING AROUND IN THAT SLINKY, SLUTTY LITTLE DRESS THAT SHOWS OFF YOUR WHITE G-STRING, JOE BURR, ALWAYS TAKING DICKS LEFT AND RIGHT AND LIKE IN EVERY ORIFICE AND…. Wait, sorry, can we cut?”
Owen presses “stop recording” on his phone. TC2 turns around and pauses his music on the computer. “Maybe I need to double check, but this sounds a lot like the final third of that Baxter fanfic. Can we double check to see if we didn’t get them mixed up? I would hate to be saying all these duplicitous things about Joe Burr if it wasn’t true.”Owen goes over to the computer and reads the webpage closely as TC2 picks up Owen’s phone and watches back the recording of his first take.
“Screaming at the camera, check…. sexual innuendo, BIG check…. gratuitous pun, check…. too bad, this was a decent take up til then.” “Um, bad news TC, none of that stuff you said was actually about Joe Burr at all, it was about Gabrielle. They teamed together earlier this year.”“REALLY???... well… SHIT!!!!”TC2 flings himself on the couch again. “...so he doesn’t have perky breasts?”“According to this page…. Not enough information to confirm or deny. Guess we’ll find out at the Anniversary Show.”“Does it say anything actually about Joe Burr there then?? ANYTHING????”Owen scans the page some more with his eyes. “Lemme see here... well, it says he was bullied in school…”“That wouldn't be cool for us to bring up, thats sad! Everyone should be entitled to a safe and happy childhood, free of bullying and unnecessary risk from vehicles and on the sidewalk and on the road. I don’t wanna shoot on any of that, I wanna ask if everythings okay!!”“... okay, moving on then, says here his crush was a bully and was mean to him too, tricked him into thinking she was interested and led him on…”“What a bitch!! I wanna shoot on her instead!!!”“Says also he is…short?”
“Whaaaat?? We’re both short kings too???”
“Says he was also on Ground Zero?”
“I actually do prefer that to Pepsi…”
“I said Ground Zero, not Coke Zero.”“Zero coke!!!!! JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS, CHILDREN, ITS NOT SAFE!!!!”
Owen stops clicking and leans back in the computer chair. “I don’t see anything else. I think I heard Nova say once before that he thinks Joe Burr is funny. But aside from that… thats it.”TC2 buries his cone face into his white mitten-hands and rubs the angry eyebrows off of himself. “What am I gona do, Owen?? At this rate, I’m going to start LIKING Joe Burr, let alone having ground ZERO material to SHOOT on him!!”Owen looks over at TC2. “I mean… okay, I know its wasn’t in the lessons, but maybe you just… wrestle him clean at the Anniversary Show? Like correct me if I’m wrong, but does Mr. Toner or Nova or Ryan expect you to even win? Do they even care that much??”TC2 sits up on the couch and thinks about what Danny told him. “Danny told me he wants me to make a statement at the Anniversary Show. He said… ‘make it a show, make it spicy, make it a big bang, show the people what being a NTR Young Boy is all about’... Win or lose, its happening. Clean, dirty, I don’t care. I’m sure Danny wants me to win, and he wants me to SHOOT while doing so.”“Speaking of that, we’ve never really gotten into it TC…. how come you’re so wound up about Mr. Toner? Like I get it, Mr. Toner is scary and all, especially when he has a plan, but, you know, sometimes I wonder… you seem to really be cool with going the extra mile for Mr. Toner, like when he told you to stop Alyster for as long as possible…”
TC2 stares straight ahead.
“Or when he told you to chain yourself to the production truck door, like you just went and did it without any hesitation…”A moment of silence hangs over the lair. “Owen… has Danny ever told you what the full plan is?”
“.... no. Has he... told you?”
“.....me neither.”
Another moment of silence passes. “But let me tell you something that's 100% a shoot, Owen…”TC2 stands up off the couch and looks over at Owen. “When I found out that the last blood relative I had on this earth was gone…. you know who ended up being there for me? Danny Toner."Owen nods slowly. “When I was discarded by my employer, kicked out of my original dojo, and thrown aside like a piece of garbage, you know who picked me up off the ground metaphorically? Danny Toner.”
TC2 walks over to Owen and gives Owen back his phone. “When I was getting my ass beat within an inch of my life in foreign lands, not wrestling, not in a match, just perhaps mere moments from having it all taken away from me… you know who was there for me, Owen? Do you know, of all the people on God’s green earth, who was there for me at that moment, who picked me up off the ground literally, in my time of extreme need?”Owen looks up at TC2.
“Was it… Mr. Toner?”
“You’re damn right it was Danny.”TC2 looks Owen in the eyes. “I trust Danny Toner. I trust NTR. You… Danny… Nova, Ryan…Big J, Little K… all of us trueborns and the ones yet to reveal themselves…. I trust the plan. So when Danny Toner says to me, ‘TC2, take this booking against Joe Burr at the Anniversary Show and spice things up, make it a show, make it a big bang’.... Owen, you bet I am going to give Joe Burr all the heat he can handle, I am going to make it a spectacle, and I will do so willingly, gladly, I will do so loudly and proudly, I will do so without regard for my own conesenal wellbeing and, dare I say… safety.”Owen nods at TC2.“Lesson #9… I remember.”
“Mighty #9, precisely. So if Danny says its all part of the plan, then I trust him. Joe Burr sounds like he could be a lovely man in all honesty, but if my part to play involves me having to be the bad guy to take down Joe Burr for the greater good of NTR, then I’m going to do it. This is all part of the plan… and I trust the plan.”Owen stares at TC2 as TC2 stands still.
“Wow… okay… um, I’m sure Mr. Toner would be glad to hear that!”TC2 suddenly spasms a little, startling Owen. “Oh oh oh, can I ask you for a favor? Lets go to the dojo floor and you can help me train! It's my first match in quite awhile and I’ve been brainstorming some new moves I might be able to use on Joe Burr!!”TC2 beckons Owen to follow him upstairs and Owen obliges. “Might as well, since we can’t find anything else to shoot on Joe… what new moves are you talking about though?”“I was thinking maybe something like this??”As the two walk upstairs, TC2 gives Owen a two-handed titty twister. Owen swats TC2’s mitten-hands away.
“What the hell, man?? Why would you think that’s an effective move??“.....for if he actually ends up having bangin’ titties. Perky breasts are an attack surface, you know!” |
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