Meltdown XXVIII & Fallout 028 (May '23).

Originally posted by Man.

Originally posted by Tig.

[/b][/COLOR]

“That’s my fuckin’ man! You’ve always been a true fuckin’-”

Suddenly, the door swings wide open, crashing against the inside wall with an almighty thud that causes Danny and Quintus to jump to their feet.

“HE’S HERE! WE’VE GOT HIM! DANNY THE DODGER IS HERE!”

The shrill sound of a whistle blowing brings dozens of guards sprinting towards the hut. Danny looks at Quintus who quickly sweeps the cowl off the table and onto the floor, underneath the table. Danny is harshly grabbed by either arm and held in place as more guards arrive on the scene, including the Falkreath captain who immediately addresses Quintus.

“Sir! Are you alright? Has this lowlife got you hostage?”

Danny gives Quintus the most subtle of nods, letting him know that it’s alright. Danny’s caught. He knows it, and he’ll go down alone. Quintus closes his eyes and for a split second, Danny thinks he’s going to lunge for the crossbow and try and fight their way out but then, with a sorry look on his face, Quintus begins talking in a fake panic.

“Thank the gods! I didn’t know what was going to happen, I was so scared! I was just sitting here thinking about what to have for dinner when this man climbed in my window and pulled a knife on me! I-I-I didn’t know what to do! I thought he was going to rob me.”

“You’re alright now, sir! This man is Danny The Dodger, being robbed of your values wasn’t the only thing at risk. You’re lucky to be alive.”

“Oh my! I feel faint.”

“It’s okay now, sir, trust me, this criminal isn’t going anywhere. He can’t do any more harm! He’s being locked up for good. We will need you to come to the barracks with us, just to answer a few questions, you may be able to help us find the mercenary gang he was running with.”

Danny remains completely silent as Quintus nods his head and allows himself to be led out by the captain. The two guards roughly pull Danny from the hut to the outside where over a dozen guards are waiting to escort him to the barracks and then onto the jail. Danny makes no scene and offers no resistance. He allows himself to be marched towards his fate happy to remain tight-lipped but after a few seconds, he remembers the Cowl of Nocturnal is lying on the floor of the hut underneath the table. He laughs aloud, causing one of the guards to hit him in the back of the head. He stays quiet after that but he can’t help but see the irony in the situation. Literally anyone could walk in and pick it up, but he supposed Quintus would return to retrieve it after the questioning. As he rounds the corner at the end of the street, he steals a glance back at the hut that will go down in legend as the place where Danny The Dodger was finally caught.

He nearly gets sick on the spot when he sees Al-Blaq creep into the now vacant house.[/FONT]



4th Era, 223
Falkreath Jail, Falkreath Hold.

Danny lies in the complete silence of his jail cell, thinking of nothing in particular. He had not thought of anything for quite some time. He figured it to have been at least six moons since he was incarcerated in Falkreath Jail. He had been promised that he would never be released from the prison and as such, he had never bothered to keep track of the time spent inside. Danny The Dodger was going to be in here for life. The Falkreath jail was small and rather unimpressive and he felt a twang of pain whenever he too deeply considered that this pathetic structure was what was keeping him from his freedom. That happened often as he dwelled on things. He was the only prisoner in the jail and had been for the entirety of his stretch thus far. With nothing to look towards, and nobody to talk to, Danny was left with having to reminisce on the past. All the people he conned, all the friends he double-crossed, all the victims he stole from - or worse - and all the truly terrible things he had done. All in the name of being recognized as the best.

He didn’t regret a single thing.

Even the best eventually got caught or died, he had known that from the moment he slipped into the life. The ride couldn’t last forever but Danny had enjoyed one heck of a ride. The Gauntlet of Lemin, The Shield of Duality, even the damn Cowl of Nocturnal. He smiled as he remembers his greatest thefts and his biggest heists. He had done everything he needed to do to go down as a legend and now that it was at an end, he could rest easy. He fell asleep with ease most nights and was able to stomach the monotony of the day-to-day of incarcerated life. He didn’t care about anything and that was just fine in his books. He was simply waiting to die. He had been since the moment he was caught in the hut in Falkreath. His gig was up and that didn’t bother him. He’d done all he could’ve possibly hoped to have done as a thief. He was satisfied. He lies down on the bale of hay that served as his bed inside his tiny, brick cell and closed his eyes. Sleep usually wasn’t a long time coming. He begins to fade when he hears footsteps coming towards him from down the corridor. This was most unusual; he had been fed twice already day and it was nighttime. The guards did not have to routinely check on Danny as he was locked in a windowless cell every second of the day and the only way in and out of the jail was through the front door right where the guards were situated. Danny quietly rises from his bed and peeks out his bars, curiosity getting the better of him. He cannot quite believe his eyes as he sees two guards march a cuffed Dark Elf and a massive Orc to the cell directly opposite them and shove them inside. As one of the guards turns the key in the lock, the other turns to Danny and smiles insincerely.

“Some company for you at last, eh Dodger?”

The two guards laugh as they walk away, leaving the two prisoners in an extremely cramped situation. They are barely out of earshot when the Dark Elf leans against the bars of his cell and calls across to Danny.

“Hey! Pssssst! Friend, over here!”

“I can fuckin’ see you, you’re the only other two fuckers lucky enough to be in here.”

“I think I recognize you, friend.”

“I ain’t that surprised to hear that, a lot of people-”

Danny cuts himself off as he looks at the Dark Elf. He had assumed he recognized him as ‘Wanted’ posters had been plastered over every hold in Skyrim when he terrorized the nation after stealing the cowl but… he seemed to recognize the Dark Elf as well. He cast his mind back to a time just after he had taken the cowl. He had been in Dawnstar and had drank far too much mead - and skooma - in the Windpeak Inn and he vaguely remembered getting into a fight that night.

“Wait a second, where you in Dawnstar about six moons ago? Windpeak Inn?”

“Yes, yes! I knew it was you, I just knew it! Small world, eh?”

“I’ll tell ya, that was a heck of a fight… one you came out on top of if I remember correctly - which I might not because I was absolutely full to the brim with mead!”

“Hahaha, you’re a funny one! Who’d have thought we’d end up here? What did they get you for, friend?”

For the first time, the Orc speaks.

“Shut up, Jermer, let’s just get some rest.”

“Excuse my friend! He can get a little cranky at times, especially when he’s tired.”

Danny’s ears had instantly pricked up when the Orc spoke, and he struggles to recall a memory. He gazes across the cell, verifying it is indeed a Dark Elf.

“Jermer? Not Jermer Bestvon?”

“The one and only! Did I tell you my name in Dawnstar, friend?”

“Nah, we just have a… a mutual acquaintance who mentioned you before, unusual name, you know?”

“We both have the same friend!? Who?”

“Coin Purse Chris, he said he met you when you were up in Winterhold tryin’ to get accepted into the college and that you helped him with a job.”

“I remember Chris! What a man! Great guy, isn’t he? Does he still have The Amulet of Exdivisia?”

“Not anymore.”

“That’s a pity, I hope he’s okay, I know what people get like when they lose something they worked hard for. Baxlug here nearly started crying when the guards put his Northern Axe of Parranium in their lockbox and he-”

“Jermer shut up. That’s Danny The Dodger, you fool. Don’t tell him about anything valuable or it’ll be gone by sunrise.”

“I ain’t goin’ to be doin’ much stealin’ from here, pal. Kinda in a spot, you know?”

Enthralled by the first conversation he had been a part of in moons that did not involve a guard, Danny kept talking.

“So, Jermer, did ya ever get into the College of Winterhold?”

“Oh I sure did, Danny! Baxlug even got in too! But we got kicked out not too long ago. I didn’t know we weren’t allowed practice necromancy, I thought we could do whatever magic we liked in the college for magic but I was wrong, silly me!”

Danny arched an eyebrow.

“Necromancy, huh? Should I even ask what you guys got locked up here for?”

“Uhm… let’s just say it’s related.”

“Jermer, let’s sleep. Everyone in Skyrim knows who Danny is, I don’t like him and I don’t trust him.”

The Orc’s bluntness was stereotypical of his race but shone through nonetheless.

“It’s alright, Jermer, I’m going to put the head down myself. Speak in the mornin’, ain’t like either of us are goin’ anywhere.”

“Good night, friend!”

Danny lay down on the straw and was soon fast asleep but after a couple of hours passed he found himself awake. For the second time that night, he heard footsteps approaching. They were a lot more fleet-footed than the guards and he slowly and quietly moved to the front of his cell to peer out. He watches on in awe as a person in a very familiar grey cowl tiptoes to his cell and shushes him with a gloved finger. If it wasn’t happening right in front of him, Danny would assume he was dreaming. He pinches himself to make sure he is awake and shakes his head in disbelief once or twice. The Gray Fox was picking the lock to his cell. There is a click and then the cell door squeaks a bit as it slowly swings open. Danny stands frozen in shock as the greatest thief of all time indicates for him to be quiet. Danny nods his head as The Gray Fox motions for him to follow him, Danny begins to do so but then comes to a halt and whispers.

“Have ya another lock pick?”

The Gray Fox nods his head and hands him a sturdy-looking pick. Danny creeps over to Jermer and Baxlug’s cell and calls out softly.

“Jermer! Pssst, Jermer, come here!”

Jermer groggily moves to the bars of the cell, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, but wakes right up with a huge grin plastered across his face when Danny slides him the lock pick.

“Thanks, friend.”

Danny nods his head as Jermer goes to wake the sleeping Orc. The Gray Fox pulls on Danny’s arm and leads him further down the corridor of cells, away from where the guards station themselves. He stops right near the end wall and scans a couple of tiles on the ground, Danny spots the shadowmark at the same time he does and mutters its meaning softly under his breath.

“Escape…”

The Gray Fox delicately lifts the tile from the floor revealing a ladder leading down into a tunnel. They climb down, The Gray Fox replacing the tile above them as they descend. They quickly break into a jog in the tunnel, The Gray Fox leading the way. After half a minute, they emerge outside the back of the jail and Danny does a little whoop for joy, punching the air. He had escaped and with the help of The Gray Fox at that! Danny grabs The Gray Fox by the hand.

“Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I didn’t think gettin’ out was ever a possibility but DAMN does freedom taste good! How can I ever repay you?”

For the first time, The Gray Fox speaks.

“It’s time to return to the guild, Danny The Dodger. You owe the guild and as such, you have a debt to repay. You have betrayed your brothers and sisters and you must start at the bottom and work your way back up but we need you. The guild needs your talents. Come, we must be quick.”

The Gray Fox turns and begins walking away from the jail, obviously expecting Danny to fall in step behind him but Danny stays rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do. He is too weak after six moons imprisonment to get very far on his own and he has absolutely no Septims or items. Does he owe the guild? Should he admit he was wrong and made a mistake and go back to toeing the line and working for the guild? Just as Danny decides he is going to follow The Gray Fox, he hears him yell in pain as a golden-tipped arrow deeply sinks into his thigh, causing him to fall to one knee. Danny’s mouth opens in shock but before he can react a second golden-tipped arrow whizzes through the air and pierces The Gray Fox’s throat, instantly felling him. Danny dives behind a well as a crazed, maniacal High Elf comes running across the ground, waving his Wabbajack staff in the air. He dramatically falls to his knees beside The Gray Fox and rips the cowl off his head before holding it aloft in the air, tilting his head back and letting loose a strange, disturbing sound.

“A-HAAAAAAAH!”

Danny tries to conceal himself even more behind the well as he squints to get a better look at the man waving the Cowl of Nocturnal wildly in the air and not for the first time that night, he is shocked to his core. Siemprien. Danny watches in shock as Siemprien begins to take his leave but is immediately stopped by somebody emerging from the shadows and swiping the jagged end of a dagger across his throat. Siemprien falls to his knees, blood gushing from his throat, and takes a long, wheezing breath, before collapsing forward onto the wet grass. The cut-throat quickly runs to the fallen Gray Fox and Danny sneaks a little closer to get a better look. Coin Purse Chris kneels in the grass beside the body, a look of fury and hurt on his face.

“No… no! Oh god, no…”

Chris holds the corpse of Al-Blaq in his hands, shaking his head in sadness. Danny inches ever closer, his eyes locked on the grey cowl on the ground beside the dead Siemprien. Danny looks to his left and sees a stong-looking, black steed tied to a post right beside where Chris was cradling Al-Blaq. As Chris closes the eyes of the Argonian, Danny knows he has to make a decision between the horse and the cowl. His eyes are drawn to the cowl and he slowly moves towards it but Coin Purse Chris quickly whips his head around and in no time has unsheathed his sword and has it pointed directly at Danny. Danny sighs and then laughs.

“Guess it’s been a minute, eh Chris? Looks like I’ve lost a step.”

Chris looks at his dead friend and then at Danny, rage in his eyes, completely confused at what’s going on

“You? What are you doing here? What is Al-Blaq doing here? The Gray Fox told me to meet him here! Did you kill Al-Blaq? Was he trying to bust you out, why would he do that?”

Danny smiles and gives an infuriating answer. Partly because he likes tormenting Chris but mostly because he didn’t know what the fuck Al-Blaq was doing there. The Gray Fox had helped him escape and then… then he didn’t know, he couldn’t remember even though it had just happened. Still, after six moons in the slammer, he felt like sticking it to Chris a little.

“He knew I was the best Chris, and he knew the guild needed me.”

Chris deftly swoops down and picks up the Cowl of Nocturnal and shouts at Danny.

“The guild doesn’t need you! Nobody needs you! You’re an untrustworthy scumbag!”

“Of course I am. We’re fuckin’ thieves, Chris.”

Chris points the sword once again at Danny, and Danny takes a slow step sideways, towards the horse, hands in the air.

“You betrayed us! You betrayed the entire guild. You betrayed me! After all the time we spent together, after all the time I spent looking up to you… you just went and threw it all away and for what? This!?”

Chris waves the cowl in his hand and Danny shakes his head.

“You wouldn’t get it.”

“Why wouldn’t I get it? You’re not smarter than me, Danny. You’re not stronger than me. You’re not better than me. So why wouldn’t I comprehend whatever fucked up motives are driving you?”

Danny kneels down and begins untying the horse.

“Because, Chris, if you got it, that sword in your hand would already be six inches deep in my chest.”

“You think I couldn’t kill you, Danny? You think I haven’t got it in me? Why don’t you ask him? Siemprien. The elf that got the better of you for years. If it’s you and me, there’s only going to be one winner, and if you want this cowl, you’re going to have to kill me for it.”

Danny accepts the beratement and realizes he cannot defeat Chris one on one. He has always operated in the shadows and is weak from his stint in jail. Chris would murder him effortlessly. Maybe that would be the case even if he wasn’t weak from his time in jail. Danny laughs at the whole situation and Chris mistakes it for cockiness or Danny doubting Chris.

“You think you can just take this from me? When you first told me about this two years ago, I made a vow that one day, I would have the cowl and become the best thief in the world. With this, I’m going to restore the guild to its former glory. Eclipse it, even. That’s why I stuck around with you and listened to what you had to say. I knew you could help me become great. Who I am today. You taught me everything you know and it’s taken two years but it’s time to face it, Danny - I’m better than you now. I’ve overtaken you, just like you overtook Lastarian. If you want to put that to the test then be my fucking guest.”

Chris readies himself for a fight but no aggression comes from Danny, instead, he stares at Chris for a few moments.

“Keep it. Keep the cowl. It doesn’t mean anything to me, but let me teach ya just one more thing, for old-time’s sake, Coin Purse. You think that cowl in your hand is the key to the kingdom, the path to the throne, the way to become the master thief and the guild master, but if you pull that thing on… if you choose to wear the cowl you will forever be defined by that. As being The Gray Fox. One of many. Me? Well, the name Danny The Dodger will be etched into the history books and I’ll forever be revered as a legend… whether I have anything or not. Everyone knows I had the cowl, but that’s not what defined me, it’s simply part of my legacy. Go ahead, pull the cowl on, Chris, become just another Gray Fox that people will eventually forget about, and it’ll happen a lot sooner than ya think.”

Just then there’s a commotion from the front of the Falkreath Jail and Jermer and Baxlug come crashing out the front door, Baxlug swinging a glowing axe that’s obliterating anything it touches. Chris looks towards the source of the noise but is quick to train his eyes back on Danny, who had used the short time Chris was looking at the jailbreak to mount the black horse. Danny smiles at him from atop the horseback.

“You know it is true that I taught you how to do everything… but there’s more than one way to do things and get the same result.”

Unbelievably, Al-Blaq begins coughing and spluttering up blood on the ground. He’s alive. But barely. Chris immediately drops to his knees, casting the sword aside and applying pressure to the neck wound. He viciously shouts at Danny.

“If I didn’t have to help Al-Blaq, I’d end this right here and now, you scumbag! I’d kill you right here in this very spot and I wouldn’t think twice about it. I swear to The Five Gods, I will hunt you down, and I will make sure it is me who delivers the death blow.”

“Pride comes before the fall, Coin Purse. The funny thing is, I’m the opposite… it’s not going to be me that ends you Chris, and that’s okay. Ya know why? Because when the dust settles, Coin Purse Chris will be slain and Danny The Dodger will still be the name on everybody's lips.”

Danny turns the horse away from Chris and looks down at him one last time, grinning.

“Shadow hide you.”

Danny digs his heels into the mare and it takes off into the night…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

4th Era, 223
Unknown Location.

Someone dressed in all black is kneeling in front of a coffin in a very poorly lit dungeon. A raspy, old, feminine voice speaks out from the coffin.

“Give me your ear, evil Listener. A recently escaped convict has performed The Black Sacrament and the target is one of the biggest in the Dark Brotherhood’s history. This convict has prayed to me and wished death upon a mysterious individual… this person wants The Gray Fox dead and has asked us to be the ones to spill his blood. The Gray Fox is believed to be unidentifiable but the Night Mother sees all… kill Coin Purse Chris to fulfill this contract, honor your dark family, and forever be in the black graces of Sithis. As The Listener of The Dark Brotherhood, such is your duty. Coin Purse Chris must die.

“And so he shall, Mother.”

The person rises to a standing position and slowly pulls back their hood, a jagged scar on the side of his face the only thing visible in the darkness of the Night Mother’s crypt…

[/TD]

[TD][/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

Originally posted by SJW.



There were fewer cities in the country more riddled with crime, than the city of FWA.

Sure, the scenery changed, and some of the key players responsible for the corruption and decay in the city may have left their position, but for every killer that got dealt with, for every psychopath that met a grisly end, or for every crook that just vanished, it created an opening, a power vacuum, that the police were unable to close before the next hoodlum took the shot to make a name for themselves and seize the streets or a certain district. The officers had been fighting a losing battle for a long time, understaffed and with low morale, that working around the force was easy for the felons and gangsters that still ruled FWA with an iron, crimson fist. Just like how years ago, the combined efforts of Detective Montrose and Detective Parr did little to curb the growing tumor of illegal activities within the city, now today’s officers continued to struggle against the tide.

The more things change, the more things stay the same.

Sound familiar?

Don’t get too excited. This isn’t quite a sequel to the Detectives Trilogy. More of a spinoff.

We don’t open in the understaffed and under budgeted FWA Metropolitan Police Station. We don’t join a rookie hot shot, fresh out of training and eager to make a difference, nor do we join an aged, world-weary gumshoe counting the days until their retirement. Not this time. Instead, our scene opens within a cluttered, disorganized office with a sepia tint to it. Filing cabinets filled to the brim, spilling their contents as they leaned on each other. Discarded documents, overfilling a rubbish bin. A ceiling fan that didn’t spin, so much as it twitched occasionally. And a board nailed to the wall, covered with photographs, post-it notes, and at least a dozen pieces of red string.

The only light in the room belonged to a lit cigarette, held between the lips of the sole occupant. An occupant who, unlike the protagonists, was never able to graduate from the police academy, though she did own the (pirated) movies on DVD if that helped. Dressed in a pair of faded jeans that had seen better days, a dark green button-up with several coffee stains on it, a black tie that wasn’t really tied at all, and an off-brown jacket that was one size slightly too big for her slim frame, she sighed. A battered brown fedora sunk over her bright green hair, flattening the mohawk she had put too much time into upkeep only to hide it underneath an outdated hat. The ‘PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR’ lettering had long since started to fade and peel away from the door to her office, a door that had only been opened by herself four times a day, six days a week, for the past few years. Success was not a feeling that was familiar to her, yet she stuck around, not unlike a cockroach, confident in the slightly misguided relief that her big break would come along, eventually. To call it quits now would be admitting failure, and she was a strong believer in sunk-cost fallacy.

She breathed out a plume of smoke, unable to blow it into a poignant shape or symbol, as she glared at the board before her. This wasn’t her case. She had never accepted it, but as time rolled on and the lawmen’s investigation attempts whittled away into a cold case, she found herself unable to stop herself from trying to put the pieces together herself. She had a personal interest in solving this case, and the growing bitterness and frustration at the relative inaction of those who she was supposed to rely on meant she probably put more work into this one case than any other in her career. Which, admittedly, wasn’t saying much, but when the officers of the law were perfectly content to let one of their own fall victim to an unsolved case, then what else was she supposed to do?

Much less, when everyone knew exactly who had committed this particular crime, and nobody was particularly pressed to take action. She let out a sigh - sure, she never had any real faith in the police but even a token effort would’ve been appreciated. And now, she stood on the precipice of a decision - taking the next step would be risking her career, her livelihood, her reputation, and even her health. She could take that next step into a world where she couldn’t turn back, where if one thing went wrong she would be up shit creek without a paddle. Or she could not. She could stay in her small, isolated space in the corner of the world, ignored by many and respected by few. She could continue being a background player in the stage play of the world.

Really. What kind of decision was that, after all?

As she stubbed the cigarette on her desk, her fingers trailed to her phone, punching in a number she had to stab someone to get. Pressing the phone against her pierced ear, she listened to it ring once, twice, three times, before finally answering.

“Name’s Violet. Violet Dreyer. I think it’s time you and I talked.”



Inside a stale, locked room, a man sat.

With eyes that never quite focused on someone when they spoke, with a mess of closely-cropped hair, the man sat. Despite the uncomfortable setting, he wasn’t worried. He had faith it would all work out in the end. He wore a pair of tracksuit pants that probably hadn’t been washed in a while, and a faded blue shirt that almost certainly hadn’t been washed in a while. This wasn’t the first time he had been escorted to the precinct, but hopefully it would be the last. Why couldn’t they just see that he was doing something noble?

Jeremy Best sat, idly twiddling his thumbs. It wasn’t a particularly fun room - concrete floor and walls, broken only by a thick wooden door and a glass mirror that took up the length of one of the walls. The metal frame of the chair was uncomfortable underneath his behind, and the table that he rested his wrists on was cold and rough to the touch.

It didn’t help that his wrists were handcuffed to said table.

But that’s okay. It was all a brief misunderstanding. The officer even apologized when bringing him in, stating that it was simply protocol. Investigations require these sorts of things. And Jeremy understood - everyone has their own hoops to leap through. His lawyer, trusty Bill Scorpane, was on their way, although Jeremy didn’t see much point - he was more than capable of ensuring the officers had a fine, enjoyable companion for a conversation without Billy stepping in to clarify a question or a statement.

But again, that’s okay. Billiam had his own hoops to jump through, his hoops were just more square-shaped compared to the police’s circles, he claimed. Which seemed like a strange statement considering hoops were primarily circular in nature. Maybe he meant oval-like rather than square.

As the clock slowly ticked by, Jeremy cheerfully bobbed his head from side to side, whistling a nameless tune, for minutes on end, safe in the knowledge that sooner or later, he would be back where he belonged.

With his best friend.



“Let’s get one thing straight here - I got my own shit to deal with, alright?” The detective began, as Violet Dreyer closed the door behind her. “I got my own cases to close, my own scores to settle, my own business to take care of. I am extending you the courtesy of this meeting purely as a favor to our… Shared acquaintance. And that’s it. Get to it.” He spat, flippantly gesturing with a hand.

Violet Dreyer fixed the detective with a curious stare as he sat himself down behind his desk, which seemed much cleaner than hers, she noted with jealousy. Clad in a black business suit, along with a crisp white button up and a black tie, he looked more like an FBI agent than a FWA Detective. The jet-black sunglasses didn’t change matters. A crop of brown-ish hair decorated him, along with a line of stubble across his jaw, cast the image of a carefully maintained rogue who played by his own rules.

Detective Mike Parr perfectly matched the description her missing ally had once given to her.

Idly tracing a finger across one of the various photos in Mike Parr’s office, Violet Dreyer cleared her throat. “We both know why I’m here. Don’t we? Because of him.”

Mike Parr did not ask who ‘him’ was. He didn’t need to. And yet, his harsh visage still softened, ever so slightly. The slight crinkle at the corner of his eyes faded, subtle enough that you wouldn’t even tell if you weren’t explicitly looking for it. He let out a sigh. “I don’t make a habit out of letting freelancers play pretend cop, and I’m not looking to traverse down memory lane. Those days are behind me. Get to the point.”

Violet frowned, tapping a finger against Parr’s desk with emphasis. “He’s missing, Parr. Your own partner, gone. And you’re sitting here doing, what, counting the holes in the ceiling?”

“Ex-partner.” Parr corrected disdainfully, rolling his eyes. “He was my partner for about four months, if that, a few years ago. So he eventually ran his mouth to the wrong person - So what? I think even he knew he couldn’t talk his way out of every problem, not for lack of trying. Dear god, the lack of trying.” Parr sighed, massaging his temples. “Besides. It’s not my assigned case. I have my own cas-”

“But we all know who did it.” Violet interrupted with a hiss. “We all know Jeremy Best and his fuckin’ crony kidnapped him. Even I know that, and I’m fuckin’ nobody.”

“Fuck’s sake, Dreyer, you don’t think I know that?” Parr snapped. “Everyone fucking knows it, but getting evidence to stick to that man is like trying to nail buttered toast to a wall. Fucking impossible, at some point you’re just wasting breakfast. Freak’s lawyered up the ass and knows it.”

Violet groaned, throwing her arms up in frustration. “If everyone here knows, why hasn’t anything been done? It’s been months. He could be dead at this point.”

Parr pinched the bridge of his nose. “Because the law dictates we-”

“Fuck the law. From what he told me, you and him were pretty lax on the rules back in the day, what changed?”

Parr fixed her with a glare, scowling. “Like I said. I got my own shit to deal with. I can’t afford to stick my neck out for every Tom, Dick, & Harry in this joint that got fucked up, fucked over, or some combination of fucked. Not my circus, not my monkey, not my problem.”

A tepid silence fell over the two of them. Parr turned his attention back to his computer screen, silently deciding this conversation was over and gesturing to Violet to leave. Violet made a sound that sounded like a rat being stepped on, and instead stepped forward, leaning on Parr’s desk. She glanced at Parr’s computer screen, at the visage of a scowling man with patchy gray hair. She should’ve expected as much - if anyone was going to make a play for the NA District, it would’ve been the guy who ruled it several times over.

“He liked you, y’know.” She spat with a heated whisper. “I couldn’t figure out how, but I think he did. Fuck knows why. He liked you enough to put up with your bullshit, and you can’t even give him the common courtsey of a reach around while he's getting fucked over.”

“Jesus, Violet.” Parr shook his head. “Don’t try to tug on heartstrings that don’t exist, alright? It was business shit back then. Nothing more. Just us relying on the only two people who we could count on back then - each other. Fucking Blackbird…”

Violet fumed. “He thought you were capable of more. And I don’t care if that thought was one-sided - surely you agree that, even if he was an annoying prat with a lame moustache, he didn’t deserve to be kidnapped by a fucking lunatic like Jeremy. Right?”

Parr held her gaze for seconds, before turning his head. “No. He didn’t.” He replied softly. “He deserved something, but not that.”

There it was. The silent breakthrough. Violet cleared her throat, sitting on the desk and tapping a finger. “Look. Put me in a room with Jeremy. I’ll get him to talk.”

“How?”

Violet waggled a finger. “Nope. Don’t ask. Plausible deniability.”

Parr sighed. “You know, you’d only have, what, an hour or less before his lawyer showed up, and anything he says wouldn’t be admissible in the court of law.”

“Think I give a shit about a court of law right now? Do you?” Violet queried, raising an eyebrow.

After a long silence, Parr sighed. “... No. Alright, fine. Give me a few days to set something up, and I’ll call you the day before.”



“His lawyer already got wind of this and is on his way.” Detective Parr explained, as he marched Violet down the hallways of the precinct. “Fucker named Scorpane. He shouldn’t be too far away, forty minutes if he hits all the green lights, so whatever it is you’re hoping to do, get it done quick.”

Violet shrugged, adjusting her carry bag over her shoulder. “Only forty minutes? Fuck. Guess I'll have to make do. You coming in, making sure I play by the rules?”

“No. Some halfwit got himself iced down by the docks and I’ve got to go give the scene an assessment.” Parr didn’t sound particularly interested in either the iced halfwit or Violet’s meeting, just quietly resigned to the situation, as he shook his head. “Look, just don’t hurt a hair on Jeremy’s head, alright? The law is flexible in certain situations, but if he comes out of that room with a bruise, we’ll be sued so quickly we won’t even have time to wipe our ass.”

“Alright, fuckin’ chill.” Violet raised her hands in mock surrender, rolling her eyes. “I won’t lay a hand on that dipshit, fine. Anyone in the observatory deck?”

“Can’t afford the manpower right now. You’ll be alone without supervision - don’t fuck it up.” Parr nodded, stopping before a room marked with the number 5, jerking his head toward it. “He’s waiting for you. Give us a location, and whatever happens next, we’ll deal with it." His eyes fell upon the bag in Violet's grasp, and he hesitated, briefly. "What’s with the bag?”

Violet shrugged. “Just some tunes for the ride.” With that, she entered the room, letting the door swing closed behind her before Detective Parr could utter another word.



The Nightclub of the King of Disco had only grown more bussin’ - or ‘Bussying’ if one were so inclined - as the months had passed. The crowning of Chris Peacock as the undisputed king of the streets had only increased business and revenue. After a long, tumultuous journey where the leader of the underworld portion of FWA underwent several changes, Peacock’s glitter-gloved hands were cemented in their attempt to bring stability and reliability to the criminal slices that made up the greater body of FWA. In some ways, it was a welcome relief - the constant, constant changing of the guard meant the streets lay in unpredictable fear, gangs and crews constantly waging war to take control of the seedy underworld, had constantly hung over the innocents who paid the price for the sequel after sequel after sequel of the street wars. For all that Chris Peacock was, and all that he was not, the stability was welcomed.

Stepping through the doors of the Disco Parlor, Violet Dreyer cast a gaze around at the near-full den. Last time she was here, she had stormed out in a huff after a certain revelation, and she doubted she would be welcomed if the proprietor of the nightclub saw her. He might play nice, sure, but he’d find some excuse to push her out the door before too long. People like him always did - A boogeyman in their own mind.

Luckily, she wasn’t here for the Disco King.

She was here for his… Well. ‘Second In Command’ didn’t quite fit. The man she was seeking was a trusted confidant for Peacock. Once, he might’ve been one for Violet herself, but… Things changed.

Unfortunate as it was, things changed.

Alyster Black was a relatively easy man to find. Unlike the regular patrons of the Disco Parlor, he had very little interest in dancing or grooving. Nor did he wear the usual gaudy bright suits and attires one would associate with an outdated genre of music. He wore black, and only black. He rarely, if ever, showed his face, preferring to stay as a recluse behind a mask. And much like many of the townsfolk, he had a bit of a drinking problem.

With that in mind, finding him was easy. Head to the bar and find the guy in black. Lo and behold, there was the former X Despot himself. Previously, he might’ve held the same title as his disco companion did now. Previously, he might’ve ruled the X District with an iron fist, providing more stability to an ultraviolent district than anyone else had in the past few years.

Now, however, he was a shell of a man. Both titles were gone, ripped from him for one reason or another. Sure, he still held a claim to some other titles in a sister city out west, but that was a story not documented here.

Violet might’ve felt an emotion similar to sympathy. Then the memory of Alyster’s relative inaction reared its ugly head, and that emotion was buried six feet under.

Instead, she slid onto an empty stool beside him. “Sup Alyster. Long time no see.” Careful to keep the venom out of her voice, Violet greeted her former friend with a gentle pat on the back. Spying on his phone, she caught a glimpse of five faces, most of them strangers to her. One might've been a weasel of some kind.

Turning his head, Alyster caught her with his gaze, sliding his palm over the phone. The mask did a terrific job of hiding his emotions, as masks are wont to do, but the slight hint of an inhale, the fraction of a tilt of a head, and the microsecond of inactivity before he leaned in told her two things: One, he was slightly drunk. Two, he was surprised to see her. Three, he didn’t want her to pick up on the previous two tidbits of information.

Or maybe she was making it up, pointing out pictures that didn’t exist. She wasn’t a good PI, after all.

“Violet.” Alyster noted with a neutral tone. “I didn’t… Expect you to be here.”

“What, a gal can’t treat herself in FWA’s finest nightclub?” She said, resisting the urge to rip out her tongue and stomp it into the floor at the obvious lie.

Alyster stared, then turned his attention back to his drink. “Why are you talking to me? I thought you were pretty angry with me.” He said, having the decency to speak with a flavor of guilt in his voice.

“Oh, I am. I very much am. If it makes you feel better, fuck you.” Violet replied, swiping Alyster’s drink and stirring it with a finger.

Alyster sat in silence, avoiding eye contact, until Violet slid the drink back. “Now’s your chance to start to make good, though.” She said, casually.

He perked his head up. Even through his tipsy haze, the weight of those words still echoed within. He turned his head to her, quiet, but listening with rapt attention.

“I need you to do me a favor.” Violet remarked, gazing across the dance floor. A man in a gaudy blue suit, far on the other side of the room, locked eyes with her. The owner of the establishment, the current King of the Underworld. A shadow of a frown passed his face, as he noted her presence and who she was speaking with.

“You’re wearing his jacket.” Alyster mumbled beside her, brushing the off-brown slightly-too-large jacket over Violet’s frame with an unreadable tone.

Violet blinked. “What?”

Alyster didn’t answer. Maybe it was the drink talking, but he interpreted something in the jacket. Something that Violet didn’t quite catch. A meaning gone unsaid. Instead, he downed the rest of his drink, tragically failing to ask where Violet’s finger had been pre-stirring, before exhaling.

“This favor.” He nodded in grim determination. “What do you need?”



The clock was ticking. Wasting no time, Violet Dreyer sat herself down in the interrogation room opposite Jeremy Best, fixing him with a glare. Jeremy at least had the common decency to squirm beneath her gaze, already having had one ‘encounter’ with her previously - and suspected that one was too many.

“Jeremy Best.” Violet began, resting her knuckles on the table, in full view. Jeremy spied the bruises and cuts across her right hand, gulping. “Where’s Detective Montrose?” She began, wasting little time.

An uneasy smile spread onto Jeremy’s features. “H-Hi, Violet. It’s… good to see you.” What a terrible liar. Even Violet's few friends would agree it was never good to see her.

“Answer the fuckin’ question, Jeremy." Violet barked. "We know you and Bryan Baxter were seen taking Detective Jake ‘Krash’ Montrose on the road south of the graveyard. I don’t know how you found him, but you did, and now you’re, what, keeping him locked up in your basement?”

Jeremy shrugged, unable to hide a nervous, anxiety-ridden smile.

Violet glowered. “I know you’ve got him somewhere. I’m not playing with kiddie gloves, alright? You have one last chance - Tell me where he is, or-”

“Or what, Violet? You’ll s-smack me around a bit?” He shivered, but still, that smile remained. “You won’t. Bill told me you couldn’t lay a finger on me in these walls.”

Violet huffed, twitching a fist.

"You have to play nice, Violet."

She glowered, and wondered how easy it would be to reach across the table and strangle the stack of dimes Jeremy called a neck until it splintered within her grip.

Jeremy leaned in. “He told me about you.” He giggled. “Krash did. Best friends tell each other everything, and he told me you had the vocabulary of someone with eternally stubbed toes.”

Violet bit her tongue. That at least sounded like something her ally would say. “Where is he?”

Jeremy waved a hand flippantly, growing bolder at the relative inaction. “He’s fine, Violet. He’s in a safe place, surrounded by friends.”

Violet gritted her teeth. “Where?”

Jeremy laughed. Not a giggle, not a chuckle, a full-on laugh. “It’s a lil’ secret, Violet! A secret between besties! We pinkie-promised not to tell, and you can’t break a pinkie-promise.”

It was the confident, vacantly smug grin in Jeremy's ratfaced features that irked her. He was so oblivious, and yet, so smug at the same time. Like he genuinely didn't know what he had done that was so wrong. It was infuriating.

“Right. Fuck this.” Unclasping her bag, Violet unveiled a silver laptop, opening it up on the desk and punching in a password. As the screen booted up, a sardonic smirk made its way across Violet’s features. Time to show this string bean who was in charge. “Jeremy, I have something I’d like to show you.” Her fingers tapped on the keyboard, turning the screen around. Jeremy glanced at the screen, at the video on the screen, and the smile faded from his face as he did a double-take.

He didn't seem to quite grasp what he was seeing.

The poorly lit scene and the grainy filter certainly made identifying what was going in difficult.

But Jeremy wouldn't have any trouble recognizing the bulky, big man in any situation.

“Is… Is that Bryan?”



In the dead of the night, a man wiped their hands, blowing smoke into the cool, cool air.

His appearance often enabled others to underestimate him. The prematurely graying hair gave him an extra ten years in appearance, hiding youth and vigor. His bulky frame was often confused for fat, hiding the calloused muscles within. Even the company he worked alongside led others to, mistakenly, believe he was a handler, an advisor, his better days long behind him.

The trail of missing bodies in his wake often said otherwise.

Big Bryan Baxter was alright with getting underestimated. It made the feeling of bones splinting within his grip all the better.

His rule as the leader of the NA District meant he had to get his hands dirty sometimes. Which he didn’t mind. He was used to getting his hands dirty, after all. Better than the last ruler of the NA District, some airhead in over her head. Even before he stole the NA District from the aforementioned airhead, he had a long history of taking care of certain… Actions that Jeremy had done. Not necessarily cleaning up after him, but ensuring that his decisions wouldn't come back to haunt either of them, one way or another.

This night wasn’t much different.

He approached his car, eager to get home and relax after a long day of solving problems, before pausing at the sunken tyre. “Ah, piss.” He groaned. He had a spare in the boot of his car, but the tedious act of replacing the flat tyre meant his trip home would be delayed. He tossed his bag in the backseat, before flipping open the boot and grabbing the spare tyre and a tire iron.

With a sigh, he knelt down next to the flat tyre. He raised the tire iron.

He didn’t hear the soft footsteps, rapidly approaching, although he probably should've. The rain masked the sound enough.

He didn’t see the shadow of a figure in the reflection of the window above, although he probably should've. He just wasn't looking at the right time.

All he felt was a pinch, a sharp impact in the side of his neck. An injection. A hiss in his ear, words he was unable to make out. He raised an arm, flailing, but already it was too late.

He was out like a light before he even made it to his feet.

Two people stood before the dozing, unconscious body of Bryan Baxter, an empty needle jutting out the side of his neck.

"Big fucker, ain't he?" Alyster Black spoke aloud, shaking his head. Rubbing his shoulders, he turned to his companion. "Now what?"

Violet Dreyer remained uncharacteristically silent.



On the laptop screen was a sight Jeremy had not been expecting.

Bryan Baxter, his trusted friend and confidant, handcuffed and tied to a chair, not too unfamiliar to Jeremy’s situation. Unlike Jeremy, he was much less calm about the situation, thrashing about silently shouting. His head twisted and turned, following the path of someone pacing offscreen.

“Let’s see what Bryan has to say about his situation, hmm?” Violet queried, unmuting the video.

“-second I get free I’m going to rip your head off and shove it up y-”

“That’s enough of that.” Violet noted, muting the video once again.

“Wait. What’s happening?” Jeremy asked, confused. The smug aura had vanished, the cocksure tone in his voice replaced with a childlike lack of understanding. It was almost sad. Almost. “Bryan said he was going to be out of town for the next few days or so, what’s going on?”

“Caught wind of this little livestream here.” Violet noted, not bothering to hide a gleeful grin. “Looks like you and your buddy got more than a few enemies around this place. Who would've guessed.”

On the screen, a figure stepped into frame. Jeremy’s face fell in quiet recognition, causing Violet to bark with laughter. Clad in all-black, the masked man known as Alyster Black casually sauntered up to the restrained Bryan Baxter, as the big man frothed at the mouth with jeers and insults. Suddenly, Black struck with a right hand to Baxter’s jaw, stunning the big man. Black instantly started waving his right hand around, perhaps not prepared for how hard Baxter’s jaw really was. He followed with a left hook into the kidneys, still smarting with his right hand.

“Look at him go.” Violet cooed, as if this was a kitten playing with a ball of yarn and not a sadist psychopath unloading furious fists at a man unable to defend himself. As Jeremy stared at the livestream, mouth agape, Violet pulled out a burner phone from one of her jacket pockets, punching a number into it. “Now here’s the thing, Jeremy, ya lil’ pissant - I’m pretty sure I recognize where this little incident is taking place. I’m also pretty sure I have the phone number of Fuckmask McGee. I’m pretty sure I could just tell him to stop it, and he will. Well, he might. No guarantees, the fuck do I know. But honestly, I’m just not feeling particularly motivated to call this off, y’know?”

“Bryan’s a tough guy.” Jeremy said, though the wobble in his voice certainly sounded unconvinced. “He’ll find his way out of this, he’ll be fine.”

“You got a lotta fuckin’ faith in a guy who’ll be pissing blood for the next few days." Violet raised the phone, her thumb hovering over the dial button. “Tell me where Krash is and I can stop this right now. Isn’t Baxter supposed to be your friend, too?”

Torn between the well-being of his oldest friend and the secret of his best friend, Jeremy opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. He looked like a fish. “... This is wrong, this isn’t right. You’re cops, you’re not supposed to do this sort of thing.”

“The fuck makes you think I’m a cop? Relax. I was told not to harm a hair on your head. Nobody said shit about Baxter.” She flicked the dial number, pressing it against her ear. With her other hand, she turned the laptop back to herself. “Sup. Jeremy’s not co-operating, go figure. Guess he doesn’t value his friend’s safety as much as he should. Fuckin' hypocrite. There’s a bag on the floor - unload it onto the table.”

“What- What are you doing to him?” Jeremy stuttered. He tried to yank his hands off of the table, but the handcuffs were firm, unheeding.

“One second.” Violet paused her call, glancing at Jeremy. “Jeremy, choose a finger.”

“What?”

“Choose a fuckin’ finger, Jeremy.”

“P-Pointer.”

“Great.” Violet returned to her call, blowing a bubble with some gum as she did. “In the bag there should be an icepick. Grab it and jam it underneath the pointer fingernail on Baxter’s right hand until you hit bone.”

With a flourish, she turned the laptop back to face an appalled Jeremy, unmuting the livestream as she did so.



Down at the dockyards, Detective Mike Parr grimaced. There was a smell in the air that was, somehow, worse than that of the fish and the ocean nearby. A smell he was familiar with, one he had worked with time and time again, yet never grew used to.

The last time he was down here, he ended up shot and stabbed in the back. It was only due to the actions of his ex-partner that he didn’t bleed to death - and even then it took a long time of biding their time until he could come back to public view. Stepping away from his cruiser, Parr jerked his head in greeting at the security guard waving him over, standing by the entrance to Connelly’s Dry Goods Warehouse, long since abandoned. The guard looked vaguely familiar, lanky with long hair and a line of stubble, but Parr didn’t place him. The site had been cordoned off, but thankfully this area barely got any traffic, so any bystanders were minimized.

"Found him earlier today." The security guard explained, as he and Parr entered the warehouse. "Normally we just get vandals or graffiti artists, but this… This is a bit above my pay grade."

Parr grunted in response, dismissing the babbling guard. Stepping to the crime scene, Mike Parr knelt down, squinting at the body. “... Huh.”

“‘Huh’ what?” The security guard echoed, staring at Parr. Parr glanced at him, noting the nametag of ‘FENIX’ etched onto his shirt. “Something wrong?”

“Not wrong, to say.” Parr noted, pulling out his phone. “This just complicates one matter… and simplifies another.”



It started as an icepick beneath the fingernails.

Then a pair of pliers to the teeth - yank one out, push another deeper.

Then a hammer to the ankles.

Then fish hooks through the nose.

Every few minutes, a new wound was forcibly given to the King of the NA District. And Jeremy could do naught but sit and watch. Jeremy had squeezed his eyes shut long ago, reduced to horrified whimpering as his shackled wrists tried to jerk their way out of the cuffs. And yet, every so often he would open an eye and obtain a mere glimpse at the latest of Baxter’s suffering, grimacing at the roar of agony and wincing at the latest implement, immediately closing his eyes again.

“Why are you doing this?!?” He sobbed.

“Because, you childlike fuckwit, YOU stole a man who owed ME a favor. Get it? You overstepped your bounds, you fucked up and found it, so until you make good, Baxter here has a bad time. Capice?” Violet hissed.

Jeremy was too distraught to notice the tremor in Violet’s voice, too anguished to note how Violet’s eyes kept darting to the clock on the wall. Parr had said forty minutes, minimum, until Scorpane arrived. Forty minutes until someone would knock on that door and Jeremy would be saved from this.

It had already been forty-two minutes. She was cutting it fine and still didn’t have an answer - If Scorpane walked in and saw what was happening she would be able to kiss more than her career goodbye. She’d be locked up so quickly while Jeremy remained a free man.

As the clock ticked to forty-three minutes, she made a judgment call. “Light that cigarette, then put it out in his eyes. Both of them.” She barked into the phone as she rose to her feet. Digging through her bag, she revealed a pair of headphones and some duct tape, storming over to a shivering Jeremy.

“What are you do-” Jeremy whimpered, as Violet shoved the headphones into his ears.

"Letting you get a good listen of what your buddy's going through." She spat, before duct taping the headphones to his skin. She plugged the cord of the headphones into the laptop, and Baxter’s roars of agony fell silent, muted to all but one person now: Jeremy Best.

“Clock’s ticking, Jeremy! Give me a fucking address!” She demanded, turning up the volume on the laptop as high as it could go. Gripping Jeremy from behind, she peeled his eyes open with her fingers, forcing him to watch the sordid torture taking place. She could only slightly hear the vicious groans of torment and suffering, to her it was but a mere whisper. To Jeremy it was borderline deafening, as he tried to twist his way out of Violet’s grasp, Baxter’s throes dorning through his skull.

Her eyes darted to the clock. Forty-five minutes. A bead of sweat made its way down the back of her neck. “Where is Krash?!?” He probably couldn’t hear her over the sound of Baxter’s cries, but felt the question, all the same.

“I can’t- I can’t’-” Jeremy stuttered, tears flowing freely from his eyes. “Please!”

“Where is he?!?”

“Make it stop!”

“Where. The fuck. Is Krash?!?”

“21 Amity Avenue!” Jeremy shrieked. “21 Amity Avenue!”

At that exact moment, the door swung open. In stepped a wrinkled man, carrying his briefcase, faded brown hair on the verge of graying. “Sorry Jeremy - Traffic was a bit-what the fuck?!?” Bill Scorpane gaped at the sight, frozen in disbelief.

It was the mere second of him freezing that allowed Violet to tear herself away from Jeremy Best and shove Scorpane aside, sprinting down the halls. She wished she had time to grab the laptop and all the evidence, but all it would’ve taken was Scorpane shouting his lungs out and one of the many officers in the precinct would’ve tackled her. Thankfully, Scorpane was stunned silent, unsure what he was witnessing. By the time he had gotten his bearings and ripped the headphones off of Jeremy - taking out a clump of hair and skin in the process - Violet was out the door.

“Jeremy, what the hell is going on?” He asked, tossing the headphones on the table. “Who was that? Where’s Detective Parr?”

Jeremy only sobbed, jabbing a finger at the laptop screen. “Make it stop! Make it stop!” He wailed, burying his head into his palms.

“What?” Scorpane turned his attention to the laptop, to the video of Bryan Baxter’s suffering. “Bryan?!?”

“It’s a livestream! Bryan’s out there somewhere and some sick man is hurting him! We have to save him before it’s too late!”

Scorpane hesitated. “Jeremy…” He began, raising a shaking, pale finger to the mousepad. He was not as easily panicked as Jeremy was, and thus, he noticed something Jeremy was unable to. A brief push of the cursor confirmed his suspicion. “Jeremy, that’s a recording. A video.”

“W-What?”

“Jeremy, it’s not live.”



“That’s Bryan Baxter.” Detective Mike Parr noted, a quizzical expression on his features. “I’d recognize that ugly mug anywhere.”

“Really? Even a mug looking like… That?” Jackson Fenix raised an eyebrow, gesturing to the twisted, gouged features of the man. “I mean, the guy was never pretty, but I don’t think even his mom would kiss him on the cheek now. Not after whatever’s been done to him.”

Parr quietly agreed. “You called it in?”

“Yeah. I was doing my morning rounds, smelt something from this direction." Fenix said, adjusting his crotch with one hand as he scratched his chin with the other. "Checked inside the warehouse and it’s a damn bloodbath. I ain’t going to lose sleep over Baxter carking it, but… Damn. Maybe I might.”

Parr nodded, tugging on a forensic glove as he inspected the body, or what was left of it. Security Guard Jackson Fenix watched with nausea growing, idly fidgeting. “So… What’s the verdict, Detective?”

“I think he’s dead, Fenix.”

“Yeah no shit. Any thoughts on how long he’s been dead?”

“I’m not a forensic pathologist…” Parr began, rising to his feet. “But if I had to make an estimate, this fucker has been dead for at least sixteen hours.”

Fenix nodded, despite not knowing whether Parr’s claim had any truth to it. “Who do you think did it?”

Parr fixed Fenix with a glance, then wordlessly turned and left the warehouse.

As he retreated back to his squad car to call in for the big guns, one thought passed through his mind. It wasn’t a suspicion or inkling of whodunnit, because truthfully, he didn’t care. So some oversized meatbag got too big for his britches - it happened. No use crying over spoiled milk. No. What the thought was, though, was that his path to taking back the NA District suddenly grew much, much easier.

And so, unable to hide the smile from his features, Parr grabbed his cruiser radio, and called it in.



In the dark evening, Alyster Black threw themselves into the driver’s seat of their car, huffing. The adrenaline rush of what they had done coasted through their veins, and they couldn’t stop their hands shaking. With a rag, they wiped the blood from their fingers as best as they could. It was no use wiping the blood from their mask, their suit. By the next hour it would be burned soon enough.

They massaged their now bruised right hand, grimacing. They should’ve known not to strike with such emotion to start off, but… Oh, well. They glanced at the camera, tossed onto the passenger seat of the car. Hopefully they had enough footage, but honestly they probably had too much. They couldn’t help it - the bitterness got them carried away, as it often does.

With an exhale, they gripped the base of the mask, and yanked it off their face.

“Fuckin’ masks.” Violet spat. “No idea how the fuck you wear ‘em. It’s fuckin’ suffocating.”

Considering what she had done over the past few hours, it seemed petty to complain of mild suffocation, but she is a petty individual, after all. “Thanks for the spare mask, Aly.” She said, tossing it in the backseat. Of course, Alyster wasn't there. She had told him to fuck off for a spell. Whether he found himself an alibi or not, it didn't matter to her. She didn't tell him what she was planning to do, and he didn't ask. Thank goodness for that much. He was useful for two things - carrying Baxter's lardass into the trunk of her car, and the spare mask to use in Baxter's execution. Not like she could rely on much else from the guy. Whatever happened to Alyster now, it wasn't her problem.

As a certain detective said, not my circus, not my monkey, not my problem.

Flicking the radio on to some vulgar rock music, Violet peeled the car away from the warehouse. The only guards were supposed to patrol the warehouses down south, so unless someone got curious, no-one would find the body until it was too late to do anything. As she sped down the road, she laughed in the mirror, victorious.

“It’s like they say…” She spoke aloud in the quiet of her car. “You put one of ours in the hospital, we put one of yours in the morgue. Or adjusted for inflation - one in the basement of your shitty home, and one left to rot in a fish warehouse. Not like you deserve better, fuckin’ pricks.”



21 Amity Avenue looked like such a normal home.

It wasn’t registered as Jeremy’s address, which explains why it didn’t pop up on the radar of the police. It was a completely nondescript home surrounded by equally nondescript homes. You wouldn't be able to point out this specific house at all. In hindsight, that made it perfect for hiding someone within.

The white picket fence was splintered underneath the wheels of Violet’s car, leaving a pair of skidmarks on the grass. Turning the engine off, she exited the car in a rush, and not bothering to look for a key, booted the front door in. Wood splintered from the frame as she stormed into the small home. The clock was ticking - she was certain someone would be on their way here. She had to act fast.

Ensuring that Bryan Baxter's heart didn't beat anymore was not an impulsive decision on her part. It was probably the least impulsive thing she had done in a long while, come to think of it. Because the issue with Jeremy is that while he's a nutcase who should probably be locked away in a padded cell and left to rot, Baxter was the one who ensured that Jeremy's sicko fantasies became real. Baxter was an enabler, a backer, a support coordinator to do the things Jeremy didn't have the guts to do.

Jeremy Best caused problems, undoubtedly.

But it was Bryan Baxter who made those problems vanish, or in this case, hand deliver the problem to Jeremy's lap.

Bryan Baxter was the catalyst. The man who separated a loony and his desires from a life in a holding cell. The man who ensured that Jeremy Best, rather than a sociopath who never grew up, was instead seen as a mere quirky lil fella, harmless in the grand scheme of things.

Bryan Baxter fought so Jeremy Best could sleep.

Bryan Baxter got his hands dirty so Jeremy Best could sleep on clean sheets.

For that, he had to be removed from the picture.

Baxter had to die, so Jeremy could be broken into a confession. There was never any saving him - Baxter was dead long before Jeremy woke up that morning.

And now, without the safety of Baxter behind him, Jeremy wouldn't be able to hide behind someone else. Violet wasn't an idiot - the last time she clashed with Best, Jeremy survived only because of Baxter. Bryan Baxter stopped her from snapping off Jeremy Best's fingers and making that bitch eat a healthy meal, therefore, he had to be disposed of. Preferably in as messy of a manner as possible, because vindication and pettiness is a lovely, lovely motivator.

Maybe now, Jeremy would know what it's like to have someone you cared about callously ripped away by another. There was no guilt or remorse within Violet. Infact, she felt proud of herself, perhaps for the first time in a long while.

She had chosen to do something rather than wait around for her time to come. She took control of her life, control of her destiny, control for the lives of those around her.

And she felt fucking amazing.

Revenge,contrary to popular belief, feels great. Hollywood needs to start leaning into that.

Sure, morally this was a new low for her - but fuck you if you thought a shitbag like Baxter or a nutjob like Best deserved peace and comfort when they had a relatively innocent man locked away somewhere.

Violet held no false assumptions - she wasn't a good person, but fuck, at least she did something. For a good reason, too. Doing something good was uncharacteristic, but doing something horrible for the sake of good felt fantastic. Maybe that's where the balance is.

In a perfect world, both of them would be slowly rotting in a shallow grave. Scorpane too, possibly. But Jeremy still had information, whereas, she suspected, Baxter didn't.

So Jeremy got to live.

For now.

A short life of nightmares and terrors, with no-one to comfort and rely on, knowing someone was going to come back, sooner or later. But that was more of a life than anyone who made Jeremy's heart hurt got, so he shouldn't complain.

Besides - Violet had a feeling that one way or another, she'd be back to finish the job on Jeremy. The only difference is how messy it would be, with or without Krash. She had burned more than a few bridges to be here. If this was a dud address, if Jeremy lied to her, if someone else - a real cop, Jeremy, or Scorpane - tracked her down, she'd be done for.

Violet stuck her neck out to track down an old friend when no-one else would. She could only hope she hadn't stuck it through the hole of a guillotine.

The home seemed empty, devoid of furniture. Yet, also devoid of dust - someone had been in here recently. Wishing she took a weapon with her, just in case, Violet carefully explored the abode. The kitchen and living room were connected to the hallway, and both were empty. The bathroom didn’t change much either. There was only one other room - a door at the end of the hall.

There was a light, shining from under the frame of the door.

Violet felt her heart leap into her throat. Slowly, carefully, she shuffled towards the door, and pressed her ear against the wood.

Silence.

Except…

Except for the slightest hitch of a breath.

A pale hand curled around the doorknob, and she laboriously turned the knob, inch by inch. The door leisurely swung open, light spilling onto the hallway floor.

“Krash?”

Originally posted by weaselperson.

Promo reviews.

Originally posted by Man.

Al Blizzard - @blizzard Boi
Thought I'd share my thoughts on this one as it is the first time we've had a chance to see your work here in the FWA. I think overall this was a solid introductory piece for Blizzard and gives us a well-needed look into his psyche and we already have some of his motivations set out for us. There are a lot of questions still left to be asked and answered, which I think is fine as it gives you things to build towards in future promos. I don't think I am supposed to know who the person at the door was, which is good, because I don't. It seems Al has a lot of stuff that has happened in the past and affected him and I am looking forward to seeing you explore that more.

From a grading perspective, I think I would have liked to have seen a bit more match focus. How would getting a tag title shot help Al? Who would he choose from a roster he knows so few of? I don't think there is anything wrong with the moving on from the past angle, but perhaps the future could have been tied to the match a little bit more. That being said, I think this is a good monologue promo, which when done right, can be just as good as a massive space adventure or zombie apocalypse because where they may fall away slightly on the creativity part of the grading rubric, they can earn the points back in the character sections. That being said, it is still absolutely possible to do a monologue creatively.

I think your descriptions and narration are very strong and this promo is a very clean one aesthetically, too. This was an enjoyable first promo for Al and I look forward to what comes next.

Thought I would throw down a few more promo reviews whilst I am here...

Reagan Cole - @the Gipper
So, I'm not quite sure whether it was intentional or not, but I think some of the way that the narrative was written did help add to how Reagan was feeling in the opening part of the promo. Things like "I mean...", "he just wants to get some sleep, man" allows us as readers to understand how he is feeling when having that interaction, as we've all been there. If it was intentional, those were great touches in giving off a sense of Reagan just being totally fed up. Did I miss a part where he was given a new room? As it went from 88 with the two fat ladies joke, to 666?

Anyway, YES! This is what I have been waiting on for so long and for Reagan to get called out for everything that has been going on and why he's sticking with Mason despite everything. I think had you had more time available then this promo had potential to be one of your best, only because the scope for progression with everything here was so high. There's definitely more to come from this, I hope. This was a very solid effort, Gip, and another one in what has been a line of good promos coming from Reagan Cole this year. With GO on the horizon, you're definitely picking up some steam at the right time.

Makima Snowmantashi - @weaselperson
Okay, so I'll be honest. I was conflicted as soon as I realised where this was going as I was hoping for more of a standalone piece to introduce us properly to Makima, but in this instance, it makes sense that there would be some linkage in here with the Nephews, given that her goal is to win this match to then go and face two of them. On that basis, it makes perfect sense that they'd be involved here in some capacity although arguably you have an unfair advantage of being able to use them carte blanche due to how close you are with dijo. Harry being able to read the inner monologue was great and the wiping his hands subtle hint to it before it was made clear was very good.

The concept for this promo was brilliant, with people all having someone matched with them to mimic the ability to choose their partner. I liked the Hateful Eight set up with the added touch of Makima pretending not to be who she said she was at first. It actually being a legitimate thing was a twist I should have expected from you but I did not. I do think that the promo being so high concept and securing creativity boosts does come at the costs of some character development. For example, Makima started out being very sure of herself and despite everything going on, remained very sure of herself. I accept that she did not encounter much adversity along the way as she believed she was fully in control the entire time, though.

I think this is a very strong promo and a fun introductory piece for Makima here in the FWA. You've left me wanting to read more from her and seeing where this all goes next. Good job.

Lizzie Rose - aon
With everything going on with Lizzie at the moment, this kind of promo raises my eyebrow less than it otherwise would have. I think this is a good reflection of Lizzie sensing the change within herself that is happening as she becomes more and more drawn away from what she knows as reality. Lizzie may not get the win in this match, but I think this is still a very good development for her. Although I won't lie I was rooting for you to win this because Lizzie and Joe tag champs would be amazing, especially after we already almost beat Connection last year.

Tommy Bedlam - tommy Bedlam
Someone is playing a little game of "appeal to the graders", aren't they? Dodgeball is an amazing film and whilst this was not a case of the promo being made to fit around the plot of the movie, I liked the references to it throughout. When writing a promo for a multi-person match, it is easy to fall into the trap of by one means or another, the field either being eliminated from the promo or focus being shifted from each opponent in turn. It is something that has happened to me many times before, and I think you did slightly do that here as well. However, it is not to say that those kind of promos where each of your opponents are considered in turn are automatically bad, because they aren't (look at the Nova Diamond GO promo for example). What ensured that was still the case here was the renewed focus on Tommy throughout.

The references to switches and of course the ending of the promo really makes me a feel a certain way, as I know what it is in reference to. You will have boosted your QOC score at the end with the consideration of the next steps, as it adds weight to the importance of this match from Tommy's perspective. Like, why bother going for it in a match like this if you don't have that next step prepared for and a partner lined up? Really smart work there with that. This was very fun to read, and like Cole, Bedlam is definitely one of the characters that is on the up at the moment and has been for the last several months.

Noriko Kaitomi - @momochi
Out of all of the promos for this match, this is one of the two I was looking forward to reading the most, along with Al Blizzard, as it is the first time that we have seen what you've got in a competitive promo, and I have got to say that this is a very promising character. First of all, I have no idea how you were able to format the image like that but it looks great. I really like descriptive writing styles, as I try to write in the same manner myself, and these opening sections are very strong in that way.

I really really liked the theme of this promo, with Noriko letting go of her younger self and it was actually a very moving and emotional piece of writing when the younger self disappeared away. The dolls being stand ins for opponents is something that can be seen quite often, but that does not mean that the metaphor doesn't work. With Noriko not having any existing link to anyone else in the match, it makes sense that she was the main focus of the promo. I thoroughly enjoyed this and I am really looking forward to seeing what comes next as the character becomes more established in-universe.

Thought I’d just post a couple more of these I had written up.

Bellatrix Bordeaux
So, I thought this was an incredibly clever promo, Welshy. I think the way you used part of what Summers used against you when you had your first match with him was well done and didn’t cross the line for me (hey, I beat SS using stuff from some of his old promos). I think with the bringing things full circle and going back to this, along with Bret’s monologue at the start was a nice way of closing out this first chapter of Trixie in the FWA as it is going to start and end with Summers.

Where I felt this promo lacked a bit was that aside from the opening, Death Walker and XYZ were kind of neglected. It would have been cool to see both of them weaved in somehow. That doesn’t stop this from being a very good promo though and a sterling follow up to your KODM effort. I think you’ve come on leaps and bounds from where you were when you first joined us and it is great to see. Nice work.

XYZ
This promo served as a very good follow up to the story that you started telling in your CC promo, and I am honestly very interested to see where you take it next after this instalment. You did a great job here of anticipating what may be said about XYZ and the general feelings on him as a character and basically owned all of his setbacks, which I think is very cool. XYZ being a dreamer and believer and I get the feel that he’s not even wanting to make others join or believe in him - it is just down to the person.

With this being put over as Christian’s story, very intrigued as to what role he is going to play for XYZ both in promos and on screen. I am okay with this being XYZ-centric, but I think some touching on the others would have helped this one a bit, especially Death Walker with everything that those two have had going on lately. Overall, I really enjoyed this and can’t wait for your next effort.

---

Originally posted by Rosie.

I'm going through some promos today, more cherry picking either newer characters or people who just really want the feedback, and one for my opponent this show. Three now, and three after.

First: Al Blizzard

@blizzard Boi

I'm not going to repeat what Man said as I generally agree with a lot of his points. Match focus, even if your promo doesn't do it over the top, can help aid it. But you had a good taster of your character and are likely trying to get some rust off. I think you acknowledging Blizzard's spotty past (which no offense, you didn't win much, did ya?) actually is a nice piece. While the majority of the fed probably doesn't know it in detail, and you probably don't need your entire fed history on each and every branch, acknowledging it can allow you to build and create new interesting and organic storylines. Which also can work as a face or a heel. Either someone who, despite his size, his an underdog, trying to climb himself up, or someone slowly becoming more bitter then desperate to change his fortunes around. I think now it is just a matter of you getting into the swing of things then slowly going out of your comfort zone when ready. Even with my experience I had some adjusting to do in this fed with a new format and certain kinds of promos having a hint more success. But a respectable first step. So I think just in the future it will go down to you getting into the flow of things and ideally things will naturally improve on all fronts as you can explore grander ideas.

Second: tommy Bedlam

I'm doing this one, not because it is likely needed, but because I've known about his dodgeball ideas since I posted my CC promo since me mentioning Dodgeball one day in Discord accidentally inspired it.

-And I was going to go into detail, but I just... I just fucking lost it laughing. So many small references and digs at everyone. Though, the dog should have been named Milo. Welsh knows what I mean. But this was a case of you going outside of your comfort zone and hitting it in the balls with blue balls...

Jesus fuck this was not 12 year old safe. I think maybe it doesn't have as much in Character development, especially since it was such an out of the norm scene, but I think you probably made it up with everything else. Strong promo, and if you had the time to do this in the CC, you'd probably would have finished in the GO at min.

Third: Now, an opponent, @jimmy King as Jackson Fenix. Besides, mods don't always get feedback and since SS can sleepwalk and write a 31 scored promo, and the other two are singles champs, I'll default to you for the moment.

This promo is seemingly set in three parts. First the interview, second, the drive, and then the mirror scene. I think you've been doing well at presenting Jackson and even Nate as faces. The turn seems natural with them already having that New Day esq charm from when they were heels of being entertaining. The digs at me, Jackson thinking Katsu was a vampire is funny, even if you hit that joke like three or four times. Then of course, I'm glad someone got the "Katsu chicken" line out of the way. Good thing there are multiple words in Japanese meaning different things pronounced that way! But I did enjoy the personality from Jackson in the promo. Just charming, dorky, a bit dim-witted. Then we have the final scene. The mirror. I think that scene was great as a way to get in the head of your character, still TRYING to be good and get better as a person, showing that conflict. But I think what could have helped that a bit more is some scene setting. Just set an atmosphere and let the moment breathe more. I'll show.

"Jackson finishes up his business and washes up. He splashes his face with cold water."

Instead, maybe something like:

In the bathrooms at Chuck-E-Cheese, Jackson Fenix, is just finishing up his business. The bathroom is as about as appealing as you'd expect from this fine establishment. Paper towels on the floor, the mirror has chips in it, graffiti on the walls, with art work of the famous rat itself on the walls. Despite the fun celebrations, Jackson Fenix seems a touch on edge. There is still something under the surface bothering him as he's in the washroom, alone. Running his hands through with soap and water (assuming he actually washes his hands), he looks up to see himself. His hair back in a ponytail, eyes pale. He looks like he's seen a ghost. Rinsing his hands, he splashes the cold water on his face.

”Come on man, lighten up!” he mutters to himself.

"Still the same old Jackson..."

Where did that voice come from? He looks up in the mirror and sees another version of himself looking back at him. [Then if there is anything special about this version, you'd show it here]

That's kind of the idea. You know upon entering a new scene where someone is, the atmosphere of it, any emotions/body tones. If you are ever stuck, something I always consider is the five senses, sight, smell, touch, gustatory, and hearing. Not all are required, but if one of those can help set a scene, then they can be explored.

The reaction of Jackson seeing himself in the mirror. Then there is a lot of line, line, line, dialogue. Breaking it up with something to show the tone of the "Evil" Jackson, Jackson's reaction to it, him looking to the side, having a sting, thinking of his loss to Mike Parr, anything. Especially that:

"She helped you once; big deal! That doesn't mean you owe her respect because you don't owe her squat! Playing nice won't help you beat her, just like it didn't help you beat Mike Parr back at The Grand March!"

Jackson winces back. The Grand March. Another chance at a title match slipped from his fingers. His reflection has a sly smirk on his face, yelling back.

Oh, that one stung, huh? Did I strike a nerve? The truth hurts, huh, Jackie boy?!

I think that extra bit of scene setting can be something to take your promo to the next level. You don't need to do it for every individual line said, but breaking it up a bit can help. Let the moments breathe, show the consequences of what is said/done. I've seen enough stuff to know you have a solid bedrock to build on. Great character, witty lines, with the UA especially you have a clear story arc to guide your promos, I think just that little extra detail. Some more scene setting, or small things to build the emotional scene of the promo can take it to a scarily high level.

Regardless, good work, good luck with this match and afterwards... But you do know I'm coming for the GO too


Next three will be a mix of a new person and two promos posted around the same time I posted mine.

Next: A newbie with

JOSHI

POWEEEER!!!

@momochi

Two things instantly stick out to me. First is how great your scene setting in. You paint a picture of your scene (with some nice art you made) and try to create a unique scene. The second is something which I don't really see in other e-fed promos and that is telling it from a first-person perspective. "I, me, we." I can't say it is bad, nor can I say what judges think of it, but in this circumstance, I feel as though it makes the promo feel personal and an almost novel like feeling. I appreciate it. Then we have the promo which I feel is a good balance, which is hard to do in a debut, between addressing the match AND doing what every first promo for a character needs to do and that's introduce yourself and give us a taster. We get a sense of her having some trauma at a young age which makes her matured quicker, but still having this upbeat and a hint bubbly personality. It's good and in terms of the other Joshi characters in the fed, which is rare there is more than one, it separates you from how Katsu is, the mysterious yet more emotional person with her friendships driving her, to Aka and Keiko's dynamic.

You also bring up some things which are likely going to push your character in the further weeks. Her being in a new place, even mentioning her needing a "Partner" for the sake of the match if she wins. I am having a hard time finding things to pick apart for improvement because the promo is different and in some ways, refreshing. I think there's potential in this one and it is a bit of a shame that between Tommy going mad with a Dodgeball promo, you doing this, that at least one of you will technically have to not win the match. Even Blizz I give some props for doing a good job given the rust he has.

But then again: I have my Stardom bias, don't judge me.

Next, my tag team partner: @nostradamus doing his first solo promo in FWA as Keres.

First of all, all I have seen was Nova's lines for the sake of approval, but I trust him with Nova. He's known her well enough over the years to either get the lines spot on or close enough.

But I think the diary scene, while someone else has been doing some diary promos in FWA (as Tommy parodied in his promo) you do it in a completely different way and the promo mostly feels like a poem rather than a traditional promo, a certain flow, symbolism, etc which creates a unique style. I know you've wrote poetry over the years so that may be something you can keep in mind for Keres promos. You also get an insight into her mind as to why we've been doing all this to Lizzie and Joe being in the way. The only thing I really have to say is that I know you were sort of feeling the promo was short-ish, and while it is short compared to other promos I've seen here, it at least feels complete. In terms of more grand ideas, I believe you will be able to get them to grow more and more once you get more comfortable promo writing without me since I honestly believe you've been mostly doing stuff in pairs with me over the past several years apart from Marquise Bridges in AMA and the first XX promo you did. Not as in depth, but a bit of feedback. As always, great symbolism, you wrote your lines with purpose, but improvement in solo works will likely come as you get grander ideas, maybe opponents with more to go off of, and you get used to writing Keres on your own in singles matches where I'm not there.

@welshyboi

Someone is on a roll, eh?

First, I'll say the thing which is a criticism. I think for the French parts you maybe should have just wrote it in English but had the description mention someone speaking French. I think it cuts the flow of it of an otherwise really good promo. But I get it, my primary character is Japanese. Good thing I have French heritage and could pick out maybe 20% of the words, just the inability to put them together.

The opening with us learning a bit about Trixie and Bret's family, the speech, and a little bit of Bret being the older brother messing with her, works. I think it is heartwarming and gets you sort of rooting for Trixie and feel happy for her. Her first title match. But then we got the day-dream. Her being placed in a war scene with "Der Bastard." I believe it plays off the original promo CBK Did against you where he shot your bro? So, it makes some symbolic sense, plays off her ancestry. But that scene was stress inducing and was a big tonal shift, but one that worked. Then the end of Trixie rushing to hug Bret after the bad dream, kind of heart-warming.

I really think this is a solid promo and apart from the challenges that come with having multiple languages in a promo, which I actually had to balance in mine I did, you did pretty damn good in your first proper title match. Good job.

So, three solid promos after doing the other three which were all good in their own right. Good job, crew.

---

Originally posted by SupineSnake.

Some quick thoughts. Maybe part one, maybe the only part. We’ll see…

Al Blizzard - this was an interesting introductory promo after what has felt like months of rollercoastering hype. Really glad to see the character finally landing for real in the fed with this piece. This one helped to set the scene for Al, give us a little bit of history on him and some links with people who are here and familiar to this fed. Intrigued by who the mysterious visitor it is and whether or not they will play a part in Blizzard’s story going forward. Would’ve definitely liked to have seen a little bit more match focus - not necessarily a running down of other characters in the match, but I felt this one definitely dwelled upon the past more than the future in terms of the peripheral characters it discussed. Focussing on your own character in these multi-man matches can work to your advantage but would’ve liked to have seen a little more about the eight-person in this promo. Still, interesting start and looking forward to where Al goes.

Lizzie - I’m not really sure what to make of this promo. Certainly extremely intriguing. Am I to gather that perhaps this is something to do with Rose’s on-screen storyline with Eternal? Would certainly fit with the kind of stuff that we’ve been seeing from them on television. That would certainly be a very interesting direction. Curious.

Bedlam - good job on picking something to pastiche that is pretty much universally familiar! That can sometimes be a risk with these things but don’t think there’s many who won’t understand what strand you’re following. Very fun promo - you mentioned in the Discord that you were just throwing things at the wall here and that definitely comes across in this entertaining roleplay. Particular highlight for me was Madison Gray putting more focus into her diary than the game and getting eliminated as a result, thought that was a funny touch that brought something from in the fed to the context. I would’ve liked to have seen that done more often with some of the other characters - maybe it’s difficult to do that with some of the newer ones but at times I feel maybe the promo slipped into just dodgeball descriptions rather than parallels to fed stuff. Fun dodgeball descriptions, though. Stuff like Tommy’s blue balls is definitely juvenile but the gusto with which you throw yourself into it, and the set-up as a whole, is pretty endearing. Definitely one of the most entertaining promos of the week.

Best - like I mentioned with Tommy, can sometimes run the risk with things like this of the person reading/grading not knowing the pastiche and missing some of the humour. Haven’t seen Cobra Kai but got by on my knowledge of Karate Kid here. Of course, the best of these parody type promos are the ones where it shouldn’t really matter if you’ve seen the source at all and I think that was the case here. You still managed to tell a complete and engaging story with relevance through parallels to what is actually going on in the fed. Kinda wish Best and Bax had just gone ahead and joined Nephew Kai, though. Definitely the stronger Kai. My favourite element to this promo was how, towards the end, it seemed to be gearing up towards Jeremy Best having a Cyrus/CC-type revelation that only he is standing in his own way… only for him to swerve us at the end, externalise, and lay all of the blame at Violet’s feet. Jeremy continues to slide, which was some nice character work.

Fenix - this felt like a fuller and more complete promo from Jackson Fenix that continued on the well-received and well-written arc. I mentioned Jeremy Best’s continued slide towards the dark side and it’s really interesting to read Fenix’s continuation along the opposite trajectory. Fenix has been this sort of obnoxious heelish type character, and at times perhaps even comic relief for Savage’s more serious side of the tandem, for so long, so it’s great to see him embarking on something a bit meatier and different. You threw a lot of things at the wall here in the conversation with Price, stuff with Jackson’s mother, Chuck E. Cheese and then, at the end of the promo, the scene with Fenix in the mirror. This was an interesting way of showing the internal conflict in the character, although part of me thinks it’s perhaps we’ve seen it done by the likes of Shawn Summers, PAJ, and maybe more quite recently. Enjoyable promo and good to see you continuing your trend of great work with Fenix.

Noriko - it’s clear that you’re a really talented writer, even from this short introductory piece with this character. Scene-setting at the start was a real strength (although maybe a little too reliant on adverbs in the first couple paragraphs) - I always like to learn a couple of new words from a promo! The whole thing was so clean and easy to read from a presentation standpoint. I only noticed one or two spelling errors and the image header was unique and looked very fresh. Some interesting imagery throughout the promo, the dolls of the opponents in this match providing a little bit of match focus, even if perhaps we don’t delve too deeply here. That’s pretty understandable given the nature of the match and that this is really an introductory roleplay for Noriko. Younger Noriko disappearing was well-written and again some more nice imagery, providing some simple but effective character development (which is often difficult to do in the first promo). Really excited about this character.

Randall - McClain spotting! Marking for McClains and McClones in this one. Short but fun romp with some science fiction elements that I’m always going to pop for. Added some creativity to the promo and made it an enjoyable read. Obviously you have prioritised the Fenix promo this week and I think that is understandable given the two matches you have this week, but this was amusing and does the job against Derrick Hunter. World-building with the clones is always appreciated, hoping for more of that at CDW.

Keres - we return to Eternal’s TORN universe here for another highly atmospheric, sombre, and intriguing journey into the mind of Keres (with, of course, some insight into Princess Nova along the way, too). Used the word atmospheric already but atmosphere leaps out to me as your real strength, particularly in the scene-setting sequences throughout this one. I love your use of ‘dear, dear diary’ repetitively throughout the promo. I thought this gave the thing a real melodic quality, almost hypnotic in its rhythm as the promo builds through its crescendo. The content of this, too, almost read like a riddle, making the reader think twice about every sentence and the writer’s intended meaning and what it said of the opponent. Purple tree imagery is pretty stark, like that a lot. The Eternal vs. Lizzie and Joe rivalry is developing really nicely and Keres’ eerie and intense presence is a large part of that.

Trixie - definitely a creative and inventive promo here from Trixie, glad to see she took a swing at the Television Championship and went all out. The start of this promo felt almost Wes Anderson -esque with the sudden sidestep into the middle of France and the previously unheard (I think) backstory about Trixie and Bret’s wealthy great grandmother. Complete coincidence but I once planned out a similar promo for Michelle back in Netherlands (or maybe it was Belgium) but I never wrote it for whatever reason. More free-wheeling and creative stuff with the leap back in time and an interesting way of approaching the opponents in the match (some more than others) through this flashback/hallucination/whatever it is. Think it makes sense and is in-fitting with the character for Trixie to sort of exaggerate and dramatise her relationship with Shawn Summers, and this section certainly served to highlight the contrast between the champion and the challenger. This section felt very hectic, there’s definitely often a frantic element to your writing which I guess goes with the Trixie character. Promo definitely felt a bit cleaner than last time in terms of spelling etc. Good work here, this match is going to be interesting. Also, just to comment on the discussion - I didn’t have an issue with the French dialogue at all. We are seeing this from Trixie’s perspective and Trixie doesn’t speak French. This was clever writing and added to the scene.

Katsu - this was another well written and enjoyable effort from Katsu, following on from her impressive fourth place showing in the Carnal Contendership. The opening half built up Katsu's background universe more, which is something you've done a good job with since joining the fed. I was beginning to think that maybe the conversation-themed promo was maybe a little too straight forward and traditional, but the second half of the promo was certainly a lot more creative. I think the way you're writing language stuff definitely a lot less jarring now in my opinion. Fun theme for the second half of the promo - though there was some amusement in Katsu lambasting Fenix for doubtlessly doing a Japanese trope promo and then sort of slipping into one. Also felt that maybe the promo was a little disjointed with the two separate parts. Would've preferred more of an overarching narrative or at least more evident thematic links between the two halves. That said, another interesting piece and I have a feeling Katsu gonna be rolling towards the Golden Opportunity.

Kazadi - interesting that you’re going down the route of continuing old Kazadi stories and newish weaselperson ones simultaneously, as well as introducing new layers to the character what with Kazadi returning under this new guise. This one felt quite episodic, which I guess it had to be to further some disparate character and plot points, but I liked the constant theme of Kazadi’s conversation with his uncle running throughout the promo. That helped tie it together and give the over piece some consistency. I really like Wanda and glad that she’s sticking around. Didn’t much like the detective but I think that’s deliberate. That scene was very funny, loved Kazadi recounting what happened in the CC promo and accidentally snitching on Jermaine in the midst of it. Meta stuff about it being confusing, hard to follow, some filler references etc were amusing too. Centerpiece was definitely the closing segments where Kazadi turns on Truth after not a huge amount of match focus for most of the body. Monologuish close-up with repeated ‘tell me how you really feel’ was definitely excellently written and scathing but I could see it maybe viewed as being tacked on to the main text rather than a real culmination of it. Still thought this was a killer promo. Also loads ‘cleaner’ than last week’s in terms of presentation.

Cyrus - after the world championship match and then Cyrus going all-out in the great race for the Carnal Contendership, would’ve been easy for Truth to sort of take it easy a bit here and I think the Kazadi promo almost expected you to (not with Jon’s effort but rather with the content). Obviously wasn’t the case and Truth comes out with fists swinging with a promo illustrating why exactly it’s important that Truth does keep going on the stretch to Back in Business. It’s always interesting to see Truth interacting with Konchu Hao – there’s a fun dynamic between the two characters and I like the subtle allusions to events in their history, both ones that we’re privy to (i.e. Sulley’s castle) and ones that we aren’t (that one time in Malaysia… unless I’m forgetting something from a previous promo there?!). The dialogue element with Hao also helped this to feel fresh and distinct from the previous two promos and the assessment on both weaselperson and Kazadi was (as usual) razor sharp. Truth is in good form, hope it continues to Back in Business for all our sake.

Peacock - there were times when I thought that maybe this was a homage or a pastiche to something but I’m pleased to hear it’s an original story. Was creative and helped out by the originality of the narrative, but the overall setting is something that is maybe overdone and I’m hoping a more unique feel to this world begins to emerge throughout. I don’t know if it’s a spoiler that you plan to continue this narrative thread all the way along the path to back in business, which is definitely an intriguing concept and something I’m looking forward to seeing you develop – not only in terms of the characters inhabiting the world but the world itself. Always interested in worldbuilding and I think that will be necessary to help distinguish this place from other fantasy worlds we see in these promos (I think Fantasia itself has also been used multiple times, for instance). Definitely some interesting discussions on the Peacock and Toner relationship throughout this promo, the highs and lows of it and where they’re at now, but felt the Watcher was perhaps the most intriguing element of it. Looking forward to him coming into it more. Still not sure why Rose and Cole were chosen for their roles, perhaps I missed something there. I liked certain meta elements to it, like the rat scene (which felt like a video game training level and had me convinced you were homaging something), Danny’s fear, and experimentations with homelessness. Really neat concept to set a whole cycle of promos in one world and looking forward to seeing if you pull it off.

XYZ - really enjoyed this promo. Think X is a really unique voice, a complete baby-face whose driving force is hope. Loved the part where Angelo recounted what he'd learned about X from his research, to be told that that's not who he *is*. I thought this was quietly creative in that the focus of the promo was Christian rather than X, with the adventurer drifting through the narrative and affecting it from the peripheries. Made the promo feel different and by telling it from a fan's perspective you brought out a fair bit about what the character is and what he means to the XYZites. I like the informality of the narrator and the way that they often pause to talk directly to the reader - I try that sometimes but the manner in which you do it seems different, as if I'm being told a story at a campfire rather than in a library. Would've loved to have seen this fleshed out a little more and some focus put on your opponent, but what was here was really enjoyable stuff.

---

Originally posted by dijo.

Not long reviews but wanted to give some thoughts on the promos I did read.

The Connection - Thought this promo was super creative in having it be basically xenofiction. GG & MvH genuinely felt alien-like while still retaining a lot of the characteristics that do make the Connection the Connection. The Nephews coming to save them in the end was fun. Think you carried a lot of the spirit of the Concorde music video, and in many ways, the sparse dialogue did make it feel somewhat music video-ish. Mega clean promo, and good usage of graphics. Think the promo's style did mean that it would maybe have a harder time tackling the character aspect (even if I do feel like there was still decent enough ties to both).

Jeremy Best - I only know of Karate Kid through the various mainstream aspects of it. Still, I think you captured the spirit (as I understand it) of Karate Kid well. Jeremy Best continues to be one of the best written voices in the FWA, and the dynamic with Violet Dreyer and trying to oust her to become Krash's number one pupil was terrific. The Nephews ending up being an afterthought & Baxter coming back in to do what he does best and take care of Jeremy's problem was great. I thought this paralleled amazingly with the Dreyer promo which has similar dynamics. Think you've done an amazing job overall of defining Best as a heel in relation to his enemies, and his partner Baxter. Heel of the Year IMO.

Jason Randall - McClones getting Randall involved with the Nephews? Well, Randall better get comfortable with committing murder, he was acting hella squeamish after Frodo. McClones definitely sound like they're inducting Randall into a religious cult.

Keres - Super enjoyed reading this promo. The writing style felt different than anything else anyone is doing and I think that's inherently creative. Really good match focus on Joe Burr and enjoyable to see her brief interactions with Princess Nova. Excited to see more Keres promos. Only recommendation would be a different font color for the speech, felt I had to highlight all of it.

Violet Dreyer - This was my favorite promo of the week, though I may be biased since I'm a long time Dreyer fan. It was a very pleasant surprise to see you go this all out since I don't get to read much of your promos these days. Nevertheless, Dreyer entering the Detective timeline (unfortunately, I've only read the tail end promos of those), is enjoyable, and her exchanges with Mike Parr (who's connection to Krash has suddenly made that Baxter match a lot more appealing to me, for some reason I'd overlooked that) and Alyster Black were both enjoyable. Great portrayal of Jeremy Best as the weirdo he is, and continuation of the narrative of Baxter as the key figure in Best being enabled to do what he does. Bill Scorpane perhaps a bit out of place given his departure from the Buddy System but plays a minor part of the promo anyways. Baxter being already dead wasn't what I'd expected, and the culmination of it with Dreyer nearly getting to see Krash was good. Promo had really fun thriller vibes.

Definitely a couple more I'd like to try and read if I can (for sure gotta pay it forward to Man). Had to rush this so forgive me any incomplete thoughts.