Back in Town 2023 (Feb '23).

Originally posted by TGO.


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[/i] to the people. They need the sauce, and I deliver.”

“Doesn’t sound like an important superhero. It’s just sauce.”

“Whatever,”[/B] Sauce Man says, folding his arms across his chest. XYZ now notices Sauce Man is leaning on one of his legs and seems to be shaking the other one, showing signs of pain.

“He said I was … gooooing to plaaaay … the taaaambouriiiine,” Sauce Man says, bringing back the deranged speech.

“The tambourine? I do not know this instrument you speak of.”

“He said that’s aaaall I’m goooood for.”

While this seems like a putdown, Sauce Man is not offended. He smiles.

“I mean … I’m just a deliverer of sauce, not a musician.”

“What would I play?”

“He hasn’t … fiiiiigured that out. And it doooooesn’t matter, because sheeee never came. That’s why … heeee never … caaaame.”

“She? Who is she?”

“You know who.”

“No … no I don’t. Tell me now you Man of Sauce! Tell me now! We have a missing person situation!”

“Ha-haaaaaaaah!" Sauce Man shouts, again mimicking Golden. "He told me you'd be extravagant in your ... ways. Deep in your heart … you know who … because you and her … are the creations … of him.”

There's a mysterious aspect to this conversation. XYZ is pretty sure he knows who “he” is, but he’s not sure who “she” is. Even as a world-saving superhero and the person behind the name of XYZ that sends fear into the hearts of evil everywhere, he’s not a mind-reader.

Plus, XYZ is heartbroken, and he feels like Big Al would be a huge help figuring this out right now.

“Why’d the invitation say to come … alone? I have new friends. Sierra, Frank, Wild Jerry, and the guy with the video game. His name escapes me. Anyways, why couldn’t my posse come? My comrades?”

“He said ... it’d be … awkward.”

“Awkward? Why?”

Sauce Man simply shakes his head.

“Stop being coy! There’s a missing person.”

“Then go find him. But bring him back here. We have to start the band.”

As XYZ turns to leave the cave, he notices markings on one of the side walls. It’s cave markings written in English.

The first word is “Inches.” Then “a billboard outside an arena”. “Searching for the greatest promo ever”. “Is Boudreau really dead?” “Sunrise-Sunset”. “Civil war”. “Virtual reality in the Hall of Fame”. “The scrapbook”. “Visiting Matthew Robinson”. “Freaky Friday”. “Groundhog day”. “Goosebumps”. “Breaking Randy out of heaven with a musical”. “What If?” “An old man and his memories”.

And lastly, “I mean it when I say ‘Siempre’”.

There’s also no more room for any more carvings.

“What are these?”

“History.”

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Originally posted by CBK.



He lays peacefully amongst the bags of garbage, spilled drinks, and rodents that call the alleyway home. The gold on her wrist would draw attention in the darkness if she didn't hide it under the sleeve of her jacket. It had become almost a habit of hers to follow him and live vicariously through his life and actions - using his story to bolster her own. She never thought that his story would lead her to these lows. Hiding in the shadows of an alleyway as he lay passed out, unable to handle the effects of the opium. She had been there for hours watching as he called out unfamiliar names and shifted from side to side but never regained consciousness.

Her arm, pale and skinny, slowly reached out from the darkness she shrouded herself in to reach out toward him. The gold around her wrist nearly illuminated the alleyway as she hovered her hand above his face. She wanted so desperately to touch him. This was her chance to feel close to his life, success, and enigmatic attraction. She was so close to him but forced to recoil as she heard hurried footsteps approaching their location. With her body pressed against the cold bricks of the building, she was able to blend into the shadows - she had become used to being invisible when others were around.

A man with youthful facial features, presumably in his early twenties, with blond hair and an athletic build, cursed as he approached the fallen man. She couldn't quite understand what he was saying, but she could assess that he was upset and annoyed. He lurched the man to a standing position and slowly carried him out of the alleyway. She scurried from her hiding place against the wall to one behind a beaten-up trashcan to continue watching. The man from the alleyway tried to push away from his savior, but he didn't have the strength to make an effort. As they approached a rowhouse and carefully made their way up the porch steps, the man and her briefly locked eyes. It was one of the many times she had seen his cold blue eyes and retreated. She held the gold around her wrist tight to her chest as the two men entered the house ending her voyeuristic obsession.

A jolt coursed through Shawn's body as the cold water stung his flesh like shards of glass. He looked around the room in bewilderment as he recoiled away from the water. He breathes heavily, his heart beats with great force at an excessive pace, and his eyes dart around the room trying to help him figure out where the hell he is. He focuses on the young man sitting with his elbows resting on his thighs and his face buried in his hands. The man takes a deep breath, removes his face from his hands, and locks eyes with the bewildered Shawn.

"How many more times, Shawn?" he asks with curtness as Shawn stumbles out of the shower. "How many more times am I going to pick you up out of alleyways and clean your wounds? Hmm? Can you answer that, Shawn? How many more times am I going to have to do this? Answer me!" he shouts as Shawn swats away at him with annoyance. It was like Deja Vu for Shawn. This whole moment. He had experienced it before and at this point, he was tired of it. Alex, his brother, was also tired of it. Shawn walked to leave the bathroom but found himself stumbling back into the room after a shoove from Alex. Shawn was taken aback at how weak he had become. A few months ago a shove from Alex wouldn't have sent him stumbling back onto his ass but the constant drinking and smoking of opium seemed to have finally caught up with him. Alex grabs Shawn, holding him down as he rips off his shirt and removes his pants and underwear throwing him back in the shower and pulling the curtain.

"You fucking stink," he says with disgust as Shawn reaches for the hot water nob and slowly adjusts it to regulate the temperature. The post-bender clarity shower had started to become almost a ritual for him these days. In these showers, he would make the vow to get himself clean again - a vow that he knew he wouldn't keep. He would tell himself that he didn't need the Stocke Market - another lie. He would tell himself that his name and the Summers Syndicate still held value and fear in this city - yet another lie and delusion he told himself.

In his room, he noticed that fresh clothes had been laid out for him on the bed - another piece of the post-bender ritual. He quickly changed into the black button-down shirt, black chinos, and undergarments and made his way downstairs to the kitchen where he knew Alex would be making his meal. A steak, medium rare, with parmesan french fries on the side. Though it was true that Alex had grown frustrated with Shawn's habitual drug usage, he knew that he had to take care of him. He was the only person that could take care of him at this point. Shawn had been abandoned by Noah and The Stocke Market, and Trevor wanted him dead. Shawn was alone. The only way he could escape from the thought that he had lost everything and everyone was by drinking until he blacked out or smoking opium to experience a sense of euphoria.

"So," Alex says with a long pause as Shawn eats. "Do you remember anything?" Shawn shakes his head no and continues eating. He never remembered anything when he had his benders cut short. He liked it that way. He didn't want to remember himself at his lowest. It sickened him to think of himself in the same position as those he used to look down on. "I've been trying to talk to some of your old contacts, but they don't want anything to do with you."

"Let me talk to them," Shawn says in between bites.
"They don't want to talk to you."
"They don't want to talk to YOU. They'll talk to me. I made them. They owe me. They don't know you."
"Are you still high? These people don't want to talk to you. No one wants to talk to you. I mean, have you seen yourself lately? You look like a fucking mess. No one wants to do business with you let alone be seen with you. You need to wake up and take a good look at yourself in the mirror."

Shawn sits in silence as Alex grabs the newspaper and leaves the room. Shawn finishes his food and makes his way back upstairs to his room - Alex's words unable to leave his head. Had he truly become as bad as Alex had made it sound? He took his brother's advice and took a look at himself in the mirror. The dark brown roots of his blond hair began to noticeably show, something he would have never allowed to happen before. His eyes had heavy dark circles under them and his skin was dry and covered in cuts and bruises.

He closes his eyes and starts to remember small parts of his latest bender. A man and a woman huddle near him as he smokes from the opium pipe. They attempt to smoke more than Shawn is willing to allow and a scuffle begins between Shawn and the man as the woman shrieks. The memory is fuzzy and fades away as he sees himself looking up at an imposing figure repeatedly punching him in the face. He can't quite make out who the man is but he notices a young woman trying to hide in the background. She looks familiar but he can't quite figure out where he knows her from. He thinks back to smoking with the man and the woman and remembers that the girl was there too, hiding in the shadows but she was there. He could remember that her wrist glowed with a familiar gold. He opened his eyes and checked the pocket of the pants that he wore when Alex found him. Nothing there. He pulls and throws items out of drawers but still isn't able to find anything.

"Alex!" he shouts to no response below. "ALEX! Alex come here!"

He hears the hurried footsteps of Alex coming up the stairs and waits for him to appear in the doorway. Alex looks around the thrown apar room and throws his hands up in frustration.

"Shawn, what the fuck, man? I just cleaned this place up and you just come in here and throw all of this shit around. It's like you have no respect for everything I do around here. You just come in and fuck everyth-"

"I'll clean it up," Shawn says interrupting Alex. "Where's my watch?!?!"
"Your watch?"
"YES! My fucking watch, Alex. Where is it?"
"Shawn, you lost that thing months ago."

Shawn stands with a puzzled look on his face. There's no way that he let months go by without that watch. Shawn snaps back to reality and finds a derby hat and an overcoat among the items thrown around the room. He motions for his brother to follow.

"Come on."
"Where the fuck are we going," Alex questions as Shawn takes off down the stairs toward the front door.
"We're going to find my fucking watch, Alex! We're going to find my watch."
"Shawn, that watch has been missing for months, why is it all of a sudden important"
"It's always been important, Alex," Shawn snaps at him. For the first time in a while Alex had seen Shawn as the man he was before. He didn't know why that watch was of importance now but he would soon enough.



It had been almost six months since Commissioner Montroe's death but by the looks of the city streets, you would think that it had been years. Without Montroe's influence and keen sense for justice and reform the slums of the cities had become the home of addicts, dealers, vagrants, and people of that nature. Shawn and Alex made their way down the sidewalk and were propositioned multiple times by prostitutes. One had remembered Shawn and commented on how he had cleaned himself up from the last time that she saw him but they ignored her. Shawn couldn't believe that he had stooped to such a level that he would be remembered by or even talked to by these people. People that had no shame in fighting over the last bits of scraps that the city had to offer. These people that found joy in "garbage fighting" and were content with their place in the world. People that now saw him as an equal instead of someone that they had better think twice about crossing or even speaking to. It only took one small move and he had lost all of the respect and fear that he once commanded in this city.

"So, you think that someone down here can tell you where your watch is," Alex questioned as his and Shawn's appearance in the area drew looks from everyone around.
"I don't know," Shawn responds flatly causing Alex to stop in his tracks.
"Then what the hell are we doing down here? You brought me down here to carry your ass back home after you get another hit?"
Shawn turns and approaches his brother, grabbing him by his jacket sleeve and pulling him forward as if to say keep walking, kid. Alex snatches his sleeve out of Shawn's grip and continues following behind him.

"I can kind of see glimpses of the shit that happened this last time," Shawn says with embarrassment. "It's not fully clear but I remember that I was sitting in a building with a man and a woman. They tried to smoke my shit and I we got into a fight. The fight isn't the important part though. The important part is that before we got into it, I remember seeing a gir- no, a woman with my watch around her wrist."
"And you figure they'll know where she is?"
"Yeah. Something like that."

As they continued to where Shawn had encountered the man and woman Alex questioned him about how he ended up with the two but Shawn was too ashamed to admit that he didn't quite know. It wasn't hard to figure out though if you knew them.



They entered one of the many abandoned buildings and the putrid smell of body odors mixed with fecal matter whoofed through their nostrils. Shawn would never admit it but the smell was familiar to him. He remembered it from the first time that he was here. The smell let him know that he was close to finding Randy and Penny. The steps creaked and bent as they traveled upwards in the building looking for the two. They would look into open doors and would see bodies strung all over the floor surrounded by trash, needles, and other paraphernalia. Occasionally they would find themselves staring at someone whose eyes were glazed over, a needle still stuck in the vein they had just shot into.

"They're like zombies," Alex comments as they move on from the room. Shawn doesn't respond. How could he? How could he comment on someone else's condition when just hours ago he was in the same state?

Shawn motions for Alex to keep following him as they slowly approach a room where Randy and Penny are seen sitting on the floor. Randy has his arm outstretched with a belt tied around his bicep. Penny, a needle in her hand, prepares to inject him with what can only be assumed to be heroin. Randy and Shawn lock eyes and for that brief moment, Randy isn't thinking about getting his next hit. His eyes widen and he kicks Penny away from him before shooting to his feet and taking off running through the abandoned apartment. Shawn chases after him hopping over Penny and stepping on the dropped needle and vial in the process. Randy tossses left-behind furniture and objects on the ground behind him as Shawn attempts to avoid them in his pursuit.

"Fucking cut this shit out, Randy!" Shawn shouts at him as he continues his pursuit. Randy runs into a room and attempts to close the door but Shawn shoulder blocks through it causing it to crash open. As the door opens, Randy lunges at Shawn and drives a knife into his bicep before baking up with a satisfied grin on his face. Shawn looks at the knife in his arm before looking back at Randy, and then returning his attention back to his arm.

"You fucking stabbed me?" he exclaims as Randy smiles but realizes that he's practically trapped in the room
"It’s what you deserve you fucking dick. We’re even. You beat my ass I had Darius beat your ass. We’re even.”
"What the fuck are you on about?

Randy laughs to himself as Shawn tries to piece together what it is he is talking about. Shawn looks around the room as the knife sticks out of his arm and the memories start to become clearer to him. It was this room where he was finishing up the last bit of opium that he had when Darius and Randy barged in and jumped him. "Cowards. Fucking pussys," he thought to himself as he continues to remember what happened. Randy had brought in Darius to jump him because Shawn beat his ass earlier and wouldn't share his opium. Shawn again looks over at Randy and sees his disgusting, dirty face. There should never be a moment where Shawn and him should ever have been in the same room let alone the same sentence. Randy's an addict. Addicted to the high that he'll never be able to get again. He rummages around like some type of bottom feeder looking for the scraps to be passed onto him while Shawn was a climber - inching his way closer and closer to the top until he absolutely owns this city.

Shawn looks over and sees that rat-faced bastard staring with a smirk and it's almost as if something triggered inside of him as he lunged forward with right-hand that connects with Randy's cheek followed by a left hook. Shawn pummels Randy with fast rights and lefts until he is in the fetal position causing Summers to rise to his feet and stomp him with all his force. Normally Shawn would've stopped but at this moment he was compelled to continue. As he stomped he couldn't help but see himself balled up trying to block the stomps. He hated what he saw. He would have continued had it not been for Alex coming in and pulling him off. Alex had never seen this type of rage from his brother and couldn't believe that he could do what he did to Randy. The sound of Penny screaming would be implanted in Alex's memory for the rest of his life. She had sounded as if she had witnessed a crime scene and you couldn't blame her for her reaction.

Shawn walked towards the door of the room but stopped as he started to remember more from his last time there. As he was getting jumped by Randy and Darius he could see the young woman watching with bated breath. As she watched him being assaulted she couldn't help but smile.


"Look at them," Shawn says with disgust as he spits on the bench and points at two dark-skinned children distracting the shop clerk as another dark-skinned child stuffs items from the shelves into his backpack. "That's all they're good at."

"That's not cool, Shawn," Alex says with disappointment in his voice.
"It's the truth, Alex. These people have the same 24 hours in a day as we do and this is how they spend it. Stealing," Shawn says while pointing at the boys in the store. He points at an older dark-skinned man who is presumed homeless, holding a sign asking for money. "Begging for a handout" He points to a woman and a traffic officer arguing about a ticket he placed on her vehicle. "Complaining. This is what they do and then they like to complain that life isn't fair. For who? A bunch of people that can't be bothered to do the right thing, pull themselves up by their bootstraps, and taking responsibility for their actions. They're pathetic. And when you add drugs, alcohol, and children into the mix you get a bunch of people that don't deserve to be anywhere near me and my city."

Alex can't believe the words coming out of his brother's mouth. He spoke as if he were better than the people on the outskirts of the city. Shawn, Noah, and many people in the city do the exact same thing but because they call it organized crime it makes them better. The hypocrisy was almost too much for him to deal with but he followed Shawn as he made his way down the street. Deeper into the city Shawn's feelings and words against the people only get worse.

"Do you know why these people are willing to accept less in life? Hmm?" Shawn questions as Alex remains silent. He knows no matter what he says Shawn is going to make his point. "It's because they can't handle more. Why do you think they can't make it in the city? They talk about the disadvantages that they have but we know what the truth is. They can't handle what the city would give to them. It's a good thing that they're out here and we're up there."

Alex ignores Shawn's casual racism and continues to follow him until he stops in front of a building - a gym.

"I want you to wait out here, Alex," Shawn says as he starts to walk toward the gym's entrance.

"You sure?" Alex responds.
"Positive," he says as he opens the door. Inside the gym, Darius strikes at the punching bag with right and left hooks. He follows up with a knee to the midsection of the bag before returning to the alternating hooks and jabs. The sound of footsteps approaching intertwined with the sound of the bag swinging from right to left, front to back, drawing his attention.

"You know, you've got one hell of a right hook there, boy. I mean, I should know. You really gave it to me good with Randy didn't you, boy." Shawn says as he slowly begins to approach.
"Let me tell you something, you got one more time to call me 'boy'," Darius responds firmly as Summers continues to approach with a smirk on his face. Shawn tosses his hands up and laughs to himself as he slowly begins to circle Darius.
"Or what," he questions. "What are you going to do, Darius? Hmmm? You see, you're not dealing with the drugged-out Shawn Summers this time. No, you're dealing with Shawn Summers at his most dangerous. You're dealing with a Shawn Summers who has a point to prove." Darius stops punching the punching bag at laughs at Shawn who has stopped circling and stands opposite him.

"And what point do you have to prove, Shawn? Hmm? Ain't nobody scared of you. You think I won't beat yo ass like I did last time? I did that shit for money but this time I'll do it for free."

"That's what's wrong with you people. You're always lowballing yourselves when you could be making a profit. It's why you'll never make it in the city. You don't know your worth. You don't know what power you truly have...because you've never been tested. You get mad at me for calling you boy but you don't even know why I do it, do you?" Shawn questions as Darius stands with his arms crossed and an annoyed look on his face.

"'Because you're a racist piece of shit. That would be my guess. Fuck all this talking, what do you want Summers?"

"Impatience, another one of you people's many flaws," Shawn answers back. "I want you to know that fucking with me is akin to fucking with a grown man. You and I both know that you're not ready for what comes with being a grown man like myself. You're still but a child living on the outskirts of my world. On your best day you got lucky but on every day besides that, you know that in this world you are at my mercy. I hold all the cards," Shawn says with a smirk. "I'm in control. I have the upper hand because I'm a man whose been here before and you're just a boy - fresh of your mama's tit just getting to know the things I've learned twice over."

Darius pushes the bag out of the way and strikes SHawn in the face followed by a knee to the stomach that sends him bellowing over in both pain and amusement. Darius yanks Shawn up to his feet and repeatedly strikes him in the face and the body as Shawn continues to laugh and not put up a fight. Darius launches Shawn across the room and throws up his hands as Shawn continues to smile and laugh to himself.

"What the fuck is your problem? Is something funny? Did I miss a joke or something?"

Shawn continues to laugh as he cuffs his to his ear as if he's listening for something.

"Do you hear that, Darius? Can you hear it? I think that's -" Shawn takes a moment and moves closer to the window to hear better before laughing and turning his attention to Darius. "Whoop whoop, it's da sound of d'Police," Shawn says in a mocking tone. "I wonder what they'll think when they see me a respectable member of society who simply came to take a look at his potential property and was ambushed by a squatter -" Shawn pauses and closes his eyes shaking his head and muttering 'I'm sorry' under his breath. "A big black squatter hopped up on illegal steroids. And let's not forget that he's possibly armed too," Shawn says as he lifts up the shoulder sleeve of his arm and digs into the knife wound that Randy had caused earlier.

"You motherfucker," Darius mutters as Shawn continues to laugh to himself and the sound of sirens gets louder and louder.

"You're a boy, Darius. You're trying to play the same games as men like me but you need to realize that on my playing field, you're always at a disadvantage. You start with a handicap and I start with points on the board. And we both know why. But, I'm not completely a monster - I'll let you get a little head start because trust me you'll want a head start. Go on, I'll hold them off for you."

Darius is seething with anger at Shawn but doesn't miss the opportunity to run out the backdoor of the gym before two officers crash through the front door. Shawn screams out in pain and rubs his eyes allowing for tears to well up and slowly stream down as they approach. Shawn points to the back door with fear and panic - breathing heavily and fumbling over his words.

"He, he, he stabbed me and then took off out the door. Please, he's got a knife. He could hurt someone else!" Shawn yells as the officers take off after Darius. Shawn waits for the officers to fully exit the building in pursuit of Darius before getting to his feet and cleaning himself off. He holds his right cheek as it still hurt from Darius' assault, but it was a price he was something he was willing to deal with. As Shawn exited the gym Alex ran toward him with concern and disbelief.

"What the hell happened in there, Shawn?" he questioned.
"Come on, we're going to get get my watch," Shawn responds as he walks away from the building.
"Wait, so your watch wasn't in there?"
"No. It never was."
"Then what the fuck was the point of coming down here?"
"WHY DOES IT MATTER, ALEX?" Shawn shouts at him as he turns around with his arms extended. "Why does it matter?!?! The watch wasn't here but I know where the watch is. I don't have a lot of time, Alex. I need that watch! You can ask questions or you can come with me, the choice is yours."

Shawn turns and starts walking towards a bus stop while Alex stands disheveled.



She carefully adjusts the eye mask over her face so that it fits just right. She couldn't risk having her identity revealed or else it would cost her her job. The men of the club expected a certain type of woman and if they saw what she really looked like or what she was they wouldn't want her anymore.

Her eye mask was gold black with sparkles that shinned purple and had a gold trim that accentuated the many contours that it contained. This was an new mask that she had picked out. It matched the gold watch that she had grown accustomed to. She slowly removed the watch from her wrist and clasped it in her hands. The gold was cold against her flesh but it still managed to make her heart warm. She brought the watch up to her nose and sharply inhaled allowing the last remnants of his cologne waff her nostrils. Having the watch, his watch made her feel close to him. She wanted nothing more than to be close to him. She wanted him to notice her. She craved his attention almost as much as she craved the most intimate knowledge of his life.


As she clutched the watch within her grip she closed her eyes and could imagine him. She could trace the contours of his face and hear that low, confident tone of his voice that gave her butterflies. She bit her lip and slowly opened her eyes and felt a surge go through her entire body as she saw him, Shawn Summers, standing behind her in the mirror. She dared not turn to face him eye to eye.

"It's beautiful isn't it," he says in a calm hushed tone. "You don't have to hide it. You can show it off. That's what it was made for. To be shown off. 24Karrot gold. It catches your eye, doesn't it?" he says as he reaches down to grab her hands, lifting them up into view. He easily removes the watch from her grip and carefully places it on her wrist. "It's cold, isn't it? We have that in common I'm afraid. Do you know what this watch means to me? Hmmm? I'll tell you - it signifies the culmination of a journey that I embarked on many years ago. You see, my father was not my father. That sounds confusing but it's a little less confusing if you know me. I'm adopted. I was never supposed to be anything special and my father made sure I knew that every single day of my life. He would show me his watches that looked just like this and tell me that I would never earn something like this. Something that said you were somebody. Something that let everyone know that you were at the top of your game." Shawn chuckles to himself as he slowly runs his fingers up her arms toward her neck. "My father never saw the value in what I did. He wanted me to fail spectacularly. Every time I tried to get ahead there he was to push me back. That's why this watch means so much to me. The watch signifies my success" he says taking a moment to pause before continuing. "Despite him. This watch signifies that I am not a fraud. I earned this watch, and that's why I can't let you hold on to it any longer. I know you've been following me. The obsession you have with me is strong but not as strong as my obsession with you," he says as he slowly places his hand on her mask. She attempts to reach up to stop him from removing it but is too late as he yanks it off revealing her full face. She tries to look away but Shawn grabs her by her chin and forces her to stare at her reflection.

"You need to see this. Look at yourself in the mirror. Who is that pale-faced white girl staring back at you? Who is that? Who is that girl that you tried to hide away from the world, hmmm? An outcast in your own world so you thought it'd be interesting to play dress up as another culture. As if no one could tell that you were just a homely little white girl behind this mask," Shawn says with a chuckle as he holds the mask up with his right hand. "You thought that no one knew that you were a liar and a pretender? WE ALL KNEW! Why do you think none of the girls ever wanted to 'chat' with you? Hmmm? Why would they want to pal around with the white girl pretending to be one of them while never having to experience the bad that comes with it. Tell me, how often have you experienced racism since you started pretending to be Japanese? How many times have men tried to sleep with you just because you were exotic? Don't answer that, I already know. Zero," he says making a circle with his fingers.

"Tell me about your friends. Tell me about those girls that you have so many memories with and yet no one has ever seen them. Tell me about how hard you fought to get here. A bottom-of-the-barrel whore trying to take what she hasn't earned from men down on their luck? Tell me all about that, but first, tell me what about my life fascinated you so much? Was it the fact that my name is bigger than any accomplishment you could ever hope to have? Was it the fact that I'm the truest form of myself? I'm honest about who I am and what I've done while you are just pretending to be something your not. You can't handle the weight of having a watch like this, Samantha." She locks eyes with Shawn and he smiles as he notices the tears welling up in her eye ducts.

"I'm going to take back my watch, Samantha because you can't handle the responsibility, weight, or even the target that comes with having something like this. I'm doing you a favor. Get out of here. You don't belong with us in the city. You're a fraud, the lowest type of person. Go figure out who you are and what makes you interesting. Go make yourself desirable instead of just available. Go be the simple, boring, white girl that you are. I'll go be the man, the leader that I am. And let's hope that our paths never cross again."

Shawn places the watch on his wrist and firmly adjusts it with a smile. "It fits like it never left me," he says as he exits leaving Samantha alone with her thoughts, her masks, and the lies she'd created about herself in her head.

Originally posted by Gip.

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Originally posted by Dubb.


[ATTACH type="full" width="92px" alt="1676906913977.png"]39407[/ATTACH]
-Bryan Baxter, Tag Team Partner/Friend
“Yeah… I never really got it, to be honest. I met the dude a few times, meh.
But Jeremy was a huge fan. Even during our EWF days he would never miss
a Krash match. He had fuckin’ Krash Pajamas, dude. But yeah, he dreamed of
the day that one day he could be in the FWA and wrestle alongside Krash.”




[ATTACH]39407[/ATTACH]
"Who is Jeremy Best? Kinda stupid question. Who doesn’t know who Jeremy is?
Okay, well first of all he’s my tag partner. He’s my best friend… well… my only
friend technically. Or at least the only person I trust.”’





[ATTACH]39409[/ATTACH]
-Bill Scorpane, Jeremy's Agent
"Yeah, he’s a client of mine… you may know me of Big Bill’s Auto Empire, that’s
right, we’re an Empire now. Best car dealership on the East Coast, by the way.
Come on down because we’re wheelin’ and dealin’! And.. oh, you wanted to
know about Jeremy? Yeah… good guy. A little too good for his own good,
if ya know what I’m sayin’."



[ATTACH]39409[/ATTACH]
“His family life? Shit, I don’t know. I don’t really mix business with personal so
I don’t really care to know much about Jeremy’s personal life. What does it
matter anyway?”




[ATTACH]39407[/ATTACH]
“Yeah I guess that’s kinda where the story all starts. Or at least as far as
FWA is concerned because I know he’s been obsessed with the guy for years.
But low and behold, Jeremy’s only a couple matches into his FWA career and
there’s this Cibernetico Match… a multi-man tag match that was gonna be a
big part of determining a later title match… well damned if Krash didn’t pick
Jeremy to be on his team.”

[ATTACH]39408[/ATTACH]
“Fuck that match man. That’s where I met… you know what… I don’t
wanna talk about it. Next question.”


[ATTACH]39407[/ATTACH]
“It was pretty bad… he was distraught… well at first. But then… he had like
this weird sense of… I guess you could call it hope. He didn’t believe any the
stories about Krash being dead. He just felt it in his bones, ya know. Like
Krash COULDN’T POSSIBLY be dead. And Jeremy had it in his mind that he
was gonna be the one to save him.”






[ATTACH type="full" width="92px"]39411[/ATTACH]
-XYZ, Current Friend
“Ah yes, good ole Jeremy Best. What a guy, that Jeremy Best. Yes, he did
come to my Hall of Justice seeking to become an XYZite in order to obtain
my assistance in his quest to rescue Krash. As I deemed Jeremy Best as
both honorable and noble while also finding Krash to be both honorable
and noble, and thus I was happy to provide any help I could.”


[ATTACH type="full" width="92px"]39412[/ATTACH]
-Becky Vabce, Former Friend
"Hi, my name is Rebecca Vance… but I go by Becky. And I do know
Jeremy Best… quite well. Unfortunately…”

“So let’s see… where to begin. Well, me and Jeremy went to the same
high school. Actually, we went through all school levels together there…
Friendship was a small town after all. I always kinda had a thing for
Jeremy… he was just so nice… so sweet… so innocent… so much different
than most the other guys. And I mean, I wasn’t exactly the most popular
kid myself but Jeremy was always so much more interested in trying to be
friends with people. I’m not sure he ever had any interest in anyone
romantically.”

“Eventually I just kinda accepted it I guess? I tried so many times to get
him to notice me… I tried to steer him clear of some of those people who
were justusing him because of how nice he was… but then… something
happened once we graduated.”

“The thing about small towns in North Carolina… there’s two types of people.
The people who leave once you graduate and the kind that stay. Most people
fall into the first category. Me and Jeremy… we fell into the second. And a lot
of those people Jeremy spent all these years trying to be friends with… being
used by them… well… they all moved on. They went to college. Suddenly…
I was all Jeremy had left.”






[ATTACH]39412[/ATTACH]
“I think he took it pretty hard… at first. It was like total crickets the first few
days after that. But suddenly… he was back. Like nothing had happened. He
just knocked on my door and was like let’s go grab some lunch. Really? He
was literally just pretending like nothing had ever happened.”

“Honestly, I was at a loss for what to do. I’d already tried letting him down
easy… and I was on the spot so I just made up a lie about needing to go to a
job interview. I kept coming up with excuses for why I couldn't spend any time with him.
But then... some weirds stuff started happening. My other friends that I had started hanging
out with... they started having things happen to them. Like, one had their tires slashed and
couldn't make our lunch. One had their car keyed while we were in the movies. And then
while I was out on a date.. when we came home… my front door was wide open…”

“So come to find out… at some point in time, Jeremy had snuck my house key away
and made copies for himself. So he let himself in and… just completely trashed my
house. Windows were busted. TV was ripped off the wall and smashed on the ground.
All my furniture had been sliced up. And the weirdest part of all... every photograph in
my house was gone."

"I knew it was Jeremy. It had to be. All the signs pointed to him but I wasn’t able to provide
any solid proof so the cops wouldn't do anything. Everyone in town believed Jeremy was
just this nice boy who couldn't possibly do any of this. But what I did do was move in
with a friend and get a restraining order…”

“And yeah… well that kinda was that. I haven’t seen him since.”





The video stopped.

“Did you watch it?” The voice of Bill Scorpane questioned through the other end of a cell phone.

Jeremy Best stared at his computer screen, watching the video of his old friend Becky telling just the worst of lies about him. How could she say such things about him? They were such good friends! Thankfully, his pal, Mr. Scorpane had learned of the nefarious intentions of this libelous production company putting together such drivel.

“Yeah… I saw it,” Jeremy confirmed.

“I just wanted you to know about this… but you don’t need to worry about it,” Scorpane assured, “I’ve taken care of it. It’ll never see the light of day.”

Jeremy breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, sir…”

“Luckily for you, I have yet to find a problem money can’t solve. We have an image to uphold. I don’t know how much they paid that bitch to say those things, but hopefully, that’s the last we’ll hear of it.”

“I’m just as surprised as you are, sir…”

“You definitely owe me one… keep that in mind… I know Bryan misses you for some reason..”

Jeremy let out a slight smile, “Thanks again… see you at Back in Town.” Jeremy hung up the phone. His eyes lingered on the final shots of Becky on his screen. He zoomed in on the frame and reached up, gently caressed her face on the computer screen. Jeremy then brought his mouse cursor up to the corner and closed out of the video. He clicked on the document on his desktop and clicked delete.

Are you sure? Yes.

Empty Recycling Bin. Are you sure? Yes.

Jeremy closed the laptop and stood up from his dining room table. He walked across his apartment, stopping to give a smile to his friend XYZ, who he had been allowing to stay with him since the loss of “Big Al,” as he slept on the couch. Jeremy turned to his bedroom door, opened it and walked into the dark room. He shut and locked the door behind himself. He turned on the lights and walked over to the closet door.

Sliding a hidden key off the ledge of the door frame, Jeremy unlocked the locked closet door before opening it with a creak. He stepped inside the dark closet, reaching up to yank on the pull string of the light switch, effectively illuminating the room.

Jeremy was now standing before what could only be described as a shrine of Krash. Photos were plastered all over the wall of Krash. Newspaper clippings about his disappearances. Pictures of Jeremy and Krash together from Cibernetico. There’s a whole rack in the closet filled with Krash merchandise. Krash action figures were still in their box on a shelf along the other wall.

He stepped forward to the back wall, taking his hand and placing it on one of the photos. “I haven’t given up hope. I will find you. I will save you.”

Jeremy’s attention was diverted to another picture on the wall. It was a picture of Krash but not with Jeremy. It was a picture of Krash with his Gang Stars tag partner, Alyster Black. Jeremy tugged that picture off the wall and examined it closely.

Alyster Black. The other man who considered Krash his best friend.

Some friend he has been.

Where was Alyster Black when Krash went missing?

Why wasn’t he out putting all the hours into finding his friend.

Why wasn’t he leading the Krash Crusades alongside Jeremy?

A man Krash seemed to hold so near and dear yet he was too busy chasing titles. Jeremy hoped that his very, VERY brief FWA title run was worth a years-long friendship.

Jeremy still remains hopeful that Krash is out there. Alyster Black immediately went on with his life.

An old, familiar feeling was bubbling up in Jeremy’s insides. Was that… anger? No, this Alyster Black was no friend of Krash’s. Not a real friend anyway. Jeremy was Krash’s friend. His REAL friend. His ONLY friend. Alyster Black clearly didn't care about Krash!

At Back in Town, Jeremy wanted nothing more than to honor his friend in the best way possible.

He slowly began to rip the photograph down the middle. Slowly, quite literally, tearing away Alyster Black from Krash in the photo until the picture was completely town.

At Back in Town, Jeremy would prove to Krash that he is the better friend.

That he is the BEST friend.

Jeremy rips the half of the photo with Alyster on it into many pieces, tossing the remnants on the floor before pinning the photo of Krash back onto the wall with the others.

“See you soon, my friend.”

Promo reviews.

Originally posted by Cyrus.

Princess Nova

I always appreciate promos where characters find interesting ways to dive deep into who and what they are. Using the medium of art to illustrate Nova's history and path towards becoming the wrestler she is today was an inspired choice and the fact that we got a lovely painting towards the end of the promo capping off the contest that's to come was a great way to bookend things.

It's always tricky to determine how much you want to spend talking about your opponents when you're in a multi-man match like this. While it's always important to give your opposition attention for the purpose of showing and telling how and why you'll overcome them, it can also get extremely wordy. I think for a match like this, you've done a good job of illustrating the potential shortcomings of your opponents, although I will say it might be a bit tricky for someone just coming in to really get down to who's what. But, considering the nature of this match and what it's designed to do, I think you did an excellent job of putting the magnifying glass to your opposition.

All in all, a great promo that helps introduce the character and will, win or lose, be something that can be used to build on moving forward. I look forward to seeing how the match plays out and what FWA's resident princess can do.

---

Originally posted by SupineSnake.

Blazed ramblings.

Vampyra - I thought this was a really well done promo with its primary focus as the match itself and Vampyra’s relationship with her three opponents. I think it’s quite clear that in-character and maybe out of it Vampyra was hoping for a one-on-one showdown with Shawn Summers at this pay-per-view. The stretches of this promo regarding Der Basterd are probably the strongest in my opinion - your summary of his actions over the past couple of months was pretty cutting and helped to highlight the contrast between Vampyra and Summers. The match focus in general was strong and there was enough analysis of your opponents throughout this piece, although I did think it maybe fell into the trope of listing your opponents for a stretch in the middle. There were enough creative touches for you to overcome this, though. The comparisons between the three opponents and then finally Vampyra herself with figures from Japanese folklore or whatever was interesting and well done, as was the set up of the promo with Vamp’s meditation leading to a conversation with her guardian (comparisons between this and Darius’ own guardian was really nicely done). Spelling and grammar was generally good throughout the promo - it read pretty cleanly outside of some repeated words and a few typos throughout the text. I thought that character portrayal was very strong throughout this roleplay but, given that lengthy periods of it were focused exclusively on the opponents, character portrayal maybe not as strong a it has been for you in other recent pieces. There some self-reflection towards the end of the promo to make up for this but think portrayal was stronger than development maybe. Also thought it ran a little long, particularly in the middle ‘list-like’ section concerning the challengers. Still a very interesting promo, maybe your strongest one overall so far in the FWA.

Bryan Baxter - Really interesting set-up for this promo with Lizzie employing a little biological control and forcing everybody from the FWA to be nice, which led to some amusing scenes in the first half of the promo with Scorpane and then even Peacock shown to have their usual attitudes shifted by some as yet unexplained devilry. Was torn on these sections between thinking maybe the intro to it was going on too long with repeated instances of the same sort of idea, and then on the other hand wanting to be introduced to more characters from the FWA in this overly polite world. Do think Bryan comes across as dense for still being surprised at people being nice by the fifth or sixth person he meets who is like this - I guess he’s just a cynic with a critical mind. I enjoyed Jeremy not liking the resulting falseness that Lizzie’s scheme has led to, after being on board with the idea to begin with. Not sure if the contrast between Lizzie and Jeremy’s attitude towards these results is saying something about the actual characters, maybe that Lizzie’s brand of niceness is less pure and sincere than JB’s I don’t know. Pretty clean promo throughout but there were a healthy amount of errors, both in terms of grammar and the formatting itself, particularly some speech text that was left uncoloured through the roleplay. I thought the character portrayal was particularly successful in this promo because there was a lot of contrast between Baxter’s usual personality and the altered versions of characters that we saw throughout. This amplified Baxter’s character traits and caused them to stand out against the backdrop of atypical ‘nice’ characters. Enjoyable promo with a unique and creative set up and very strong match focus.

Madison Gray - I thought this was a decent introductory promo that is a major improvement from the last time we saw you as a writer in the FWA. It was certainly a lot more detailed which allowed you to add a little more depth to what Madison was saying, which was probably necessary given the subject matter you decided to tackle. This was very full-on for an introductory promo, chronicling the character’s tough upbringing and highlighting what has turned her into the person we’ll be seeing debuting at the pay-per-view. I’m interested to see where you go with the themes of alienation and how you differentiate the character from the sort of dark lone wolf type that can occasionally seem a trope. The promo definitely would benefit from an additional proof read, as it suffered in the presentation category through a few typos and grammatical mistakes, especially at key emotional moments. Am looking forward to more from the character and think you’ve introduced some intriguing backstory elements in this one.

Lizzie Rose - I liked the way that this started out as if it was heading towards an interview, albeit one in a peculiar setting and a peculiar (maybe hostile audience), given some of the out of character discussion in the Discord this week, only for you to then subvert this completely in the second part of the promo. This set-up that was heading to maybe a monologue being blasted apart by an interdimensional time travelling Lizzie definitely seemed like a comment on something. Thought there was some very interesting character progression here, with Lizzie being confronted with the idea that she might be able to win more if she was willing to bend the rules a little more often. This is something that hasn’t really been presented to Rose (or by her as a legitimate option) throughout your roleplays with her, and I’m interested to see if this promo will have any effect on the way that she is presented in the match. This was bustling with great one liners and amusing moments: Lizzie coming around to the idea of the interloper being legit because of her statement on 90s music… the general demeanour of the alternate Lizzie and the asymmetry between her and the real one… Rose asking if the prisoners are petty thieves… all funny stuff, I think Lizzie has the most consistently good comedic moments of any character right now. The presentation of this seemed like an improvement for sure. I noticed a lot less grammar and spelling errors throughout, though there were still a fair few and also some formatting errors with speech colour. Good match focus in the second half of the promo about the opponent specifically, but I think this roleplay was most successful with its character work in both the development and progression categories.

Princess Nova - This almost seemed like a re-introductory promo for the Princess Nova character, who debuted as part of the world championship battle royale early on in the cycle but has since featured only in segments. Really excited to see this character finally debut properly in a match that doesn’t have the majority of the fed in it. I think it was good that you mostly took the decision to focus on your own character during this promo as opposed to lots of stuff on the opponents. That might not have been possible given, as you said yourself, that one of them is a mystery, one of them is debuting, and the other returning, so information for you to work with was scarce. I thought there was pretty good character portrayal throughout that promo given its re-introductory style. Thought that was quite successful for a second promo in the FWA with the character. Some interesting passages in the middle about Nova growing up and having to hide herself before she found this TORN thing, which I’m excited to see explored more fully. Thought these sections about her childhood are prime for exploration in future promos, too. Although character portrayal was strong I thought character development maybe was a little lacking, outside of the early passages alluding to Nova’s backstory, but think that section certainly gets easier the more embedded a character is in the fed. Grammar and spelling was pretty good throughout but not perfect and I think an extra proof would’ve helped this one. Interesting work with a very new character that could definitely find a home in the FWA. Looking forward to Keres coming more into the story, too.

---

Originally posted by Rosie.

@welshyboi

Bellatrix Bordeaux:

I was also asked to look at Welsh's work with our girl with the mentality of an 8 year old, and here.

Something I'm pretty interested with is the fact that Bellatrix, as of right now, takes wins and losses in completely different extremes. She is pouty on the ground one second and then running around like she had a bunch of lollipops covered in cocaine. I'm also glad you've been able to keep Bret around (With Pat's permission) because it provides him as the straight-man to his sister's wackiness. I think in terms of portraying her, you've done well and that drives your promo. Her wacki-ness, her being like a cat chasing after a fly, which actually works for the character. Something I am intrigued about is what happens when, eventually, she starts to mature a bit as a performer. Obviously, she is too early on to get there, but I think that is a likely thing I see in the future for her.

As for discussing the match, you do a good job addressing the main storyline hook of your opponent, Reagan Cole being forced under the thumb of Captain Bloodfetish, Jeffry fucking Mason. Bret has a genuine concern over Jeffry potentially getting through to Bellatrix through Reagan Cole. It not just points out him as a threat, but provides a thread for the storyline down the road. Bret also shows a bit of sympathy for Reagan, in a way enhancing your opponent's storyline too. He's in a shit position. Do what the bad man says or else face dire consequences. Which I think sometimes an underrated part of a promo puts over your opponent. Admittedly, that is something which can be forgotten in e-feds, especially ones where you need to promo against your opponent. Because it shows that the match has weight and what others do have weight.

I know you don't always have the greatest confidence in your promo work, but overall, I think you have a solid start and I'm glad you're invested in this character.

Following another request, I am doing one of my opponents... Who I am probably going to face again soon regardless of result, Shawn Summers. This is me doing a readthrough before my morning class, so apologies if it is not as high standard as I want.

@comeback Kid

First, this actually matches a private talk I had with Cyrus, but I really enjoy your scene setting and narration. Some extra detail with the setting and a more third-person omnipotent narration. It is something that I'm tempted to implore more of when I am writing as it allows details to be filled without dialogue. As for the content itself you set yourself up with a dark promo, painting your opponents in twisted perspectives of "Oh, this person isn't even Japanese. This person is an addict," and etc with Shawn walking back his shit night, trying to find his watch, which is kinda like him looking for the TV title. It was a creative concept.

Something I'll also add, which I am sure you are aware of, is that you walk a line with some of the stuff said. He's a heel, he's a horrible bastard. But calling an African American man "boy" calling the cops on him, then saying Vampyra isn't even Japanese and is just pretending to be "exotic" to get people to sleep with her that is stuff which tows the line. But if I am being honest, I might not be the person to determine what is right or wrong since everyone has different tolerance levels for that stuff (some admittedly too high to the point where they encourage it). I think it didn't go too far, but it is just a reminder that it is a challenge, but in some ways I feel as though Summers is more a commentary on that stuff, like a parody where he shows some genuine evil with a part of society. Which is ironic, given his rep has ended racism with a single promo.

Class is starting soon and I went on a big tangent, so I'll wrap it up by saying even with you pushing the boundaries of what is comfortable, I think it was a really creative promo where you used your space well and you might be the biggest challenge to the TV title in this match.

@judelock

Especially since Tommy no-showed due to circumstances we understand, I appreciate the focus on trying to flesh out the dynamic between the three members of The Coven. A stable is great when each member has their own personality and things to separate them while keeping them unified. I appreciate the scene setting used and I like the dynamic of KDS still trying to get her footing as the "Witch Queen" and having those hurdles with Blair seemingly being the de facto leader with Celestia being a bit more timid until KDS snaps, showing her authoritarian side to keep them in line (in a way, testing her). The conflict though seems reasonable. The Coven needs to decide who is going to step up to face the Cowboy and that will likely create disagreements, with Blair pulling a card to try get her way before Keilo asserts herself.

I think for some smaller things, you did forget to colour some text of speech so that can be double checked in the future (though Super Bowl Sunday, I get it).

But what I praise the most from this promo is that it seems to set up your next several weeks of story-telling, Keilo trying to assert herself more as Coven leader and trying to decide what she wants as the leader of the group. Much like how, in some way, my promo in the tag match had Vampyra trying to decide what she wants to be as a champion.

Here is one from...

@the Gipper Reagan Cole, guest starring Jeffry Mason.

We'll see what I can do for feedback at night as opposed to early morning. Maybe there will be less cans of worms opened up?

I'm going to jump into the negatives first, but then do the positives because there are some genuine things I have high high high praise for. I think something you can work on is presentation. Like a small thing is including a picture of an old radio with a watermark on it, and not scaling the image down to fit a bit better visually with your promo. Also you seem to interject some almost fourth wall narration in it which, while funny, I think takes me out of it. Specifically

"as well as a Henry Cavill Superman shirt, maybe a hint to the fact that he is being forced to be someone he isn’t, YEAH YOU HEARD ME SNYDER FANS, but whatever it may hint at, it sticks out like a sore thumb"

And

"Reagan and Jeffry are opposite to each other with good old TYLER in the middle. Symbolism."

I think you don't need to outright say "You see this? IT IS SYMBOLISM!" or hit us over the head with it. But, you actually can bring attention to it more subtly. Like mention that the shirt sticks out, but don't say "It's a hint." Or say something like, I'll use example from another superhero.

Say a character is an anti-hero who is willing to use heelish tactics to get a victory. "Brandishing on his shirt is the infamous skull of The Punisher, a vigilante who uses typically heinous means in the name of fighting crime." I think that is a bit more subtle because then you go "Hmm, reminds me of this character." while still bringing attention to it if you really want them to notice. I also noticed that you had Reagan in one line crossed out. Not sure if that was intentional.

But I think where this promo shines is the interaction between Jeffry and Reagan. It... oddly paints Jeffry in a bit of a sympathetic light, though potentially could also be his manipulation, and explains his motivations in trying to get wrestlers under his "mentorship." Also since I am nostalgic for old feds, even if for the good memories there was some bad, it provides context for their history for those who may have missed it or are just tuning in. Even referencing an e-fed which I don't even consider as part of lore in my own alum from our NGW because we never posted the show (Unless Jeffry secretly did and if so, did I win!?). I also think the focus on a bit more story and character development makes sense given that this is the first step in the storyline with Bellatrix. Jeffry hints at why he wants to target her, though leaves out enough details where we can learn more. Reagan also shows some fire in this promo which is nice. And, once again, the fact that these enemies seemingly have one ground to stand on about family, Jeffry losing his and Reagan wanting to keep his, was a nice conclusion piece.

So some rough stuff around the edges in terms of presentation, but the meat and potatoes of the promo really shine and are more filling than a bowl of Beerios.

---

Originally posted by CBK.

@princess Rosé

The beginning of your promo was a great display of raw emotion that we don't see often enough for my liking with promos. She's devastated by a loss that didn't have to be and has again had her life flipped upside down by Shawn Summers. I think how she responds to her losses works well for someone her age. She's young, and every loss feels almost like the end of the world for her, and I think you really portrayed that well.

The influence of Japanese culture in this promo was done really well and added more depth to the Vampyra character. I loved how Vampyra reacted to seeing her home - a place that she hadn't been to in a while. You really have done a good job of making her feel three-dimensional, and I have to say the way you have taken to writing the dialogue in the promo and the last one has been a huge improvement in my eyes.

Something about this promo felt similar to the one you did for Fight Night, and yet it was still different in its own way. I feel it may have been how you addressed or included them in your promo. While the Fight Night promo focused on the characters having a Socratic debate/seminar with Socrates, this promo focused on the demons/spirits inside of them, but something about the two still felt similar.

Shawn Summers is an asshole ain't he? I got a good laugh out of you describing him as a small vermin - a weasel, I believe it was. Good shit. Your descriptive details throughout the promo were very strong and I thought that the innermost self of each of Vamp's opponents was truly spot on. You came out with a great promo that is honestly going to be tough to beat.

---

Originally posted by Welshy.

@princess Rosé ...I'll try my best, lol.

VAMPYRA
What you said about Trixie taking wins and losses to the extreme in terms of her reactions and emotions following them seems to apply somewhat to Vampyra as well, although she doesn't really celebrate victory too much...her reaction here following the tag defeat, it does a great job of showing just how much being the TV Champion means to Vampyra...the way she was speaking to the belt gave me Golum and the One Ring vibes, lol. Also, a nice little moment where Vampyra describes the beauty of Japan, gives me a sense that she's a little homesick.

I loved the scene-setting in this promo, a beautiful description of the Japanese City, which was swiftly followed by a fantastic series of character assassinations, lol. The fact that upon discussing Randall's motives and his spirit, the feeling that The Guardian and Vampyra had for him was pity is actually in of itself a fantastic put down. I liked that despite dismissing his ability in a straight up fight, Vampyra did acknowledge that in a 4-way, Randall could actually be a real threat. Like, the go too for a lot of people is to just have their character dismiss their opponent's chances completely, which is something that I'm not particularly a fan of. Even over the years writing Andersen Vega, I've always tried to acknowledge the threat posed by his opponents, so I appreciated the fact that Vampyra didn't just dismiss Randall completely as a non-threat. The sheer amount of knowledge you have of Darius Wright really came into show here as well, lol. I loved the callback to his success in LDW...I miss that fed, lol. Also, describing Summers as a weasle...harst, but fair, lol. I loved the fact that you also gave the same treatment to Vampyra as well. Not many people cuts a promo on themselves, so it was a great touch, lol.

Overall, I give this 20/5. It may actually be the best promo I've ever read of yours...which is saying something, lol. It was a creative concept that could've proved difficult to pull off, and you did a fantastic job of pulling it off. Fucking brilliant promo. :Clap:

---

Originally posted by Sully.

@princess Rosé

Princess Nova - I think your scene-setting abilities are top-notch. Your details at the beginning of the promo really put me there in The Residence. Using the Fake Happy song as a way to transition us into Princess Nova's dialog was a nice touch and it worked for me overall. I played the song as I was reading it for immersion purposes. I'm not sure how many matches Nova has had so far but this is the first promo I read and I feel like it was a really great introduction or formal introduction for the character. I like how this promo isn't overcomplicated with many characters, scenes, and stories. It's sort of what I was talking about in the discord a few days ago about writing a solid monologue promo. I mentioned how it has to have a good theme behind it, and good character development.

I get some major Elsa vibes from Princess Nova. A princess who's fighting her dark past, but also embracing growth.

Of course, I do sense a bit of irony in what she's saying. The idea that when she was stripped down to her minimalist core she wasn't happy or who she was. But when she put on the fancy dresses, makeup, shoes, etc she suddenly became the princess and is all of a sudden real happy? Which feels backward because truly all the clothes and makeup are all for show.

Not to Psycho analyze an e-fed character but she's straight up masking as a coping mechanism. Hope to see more development on that in the future from her. With all that said my only real gripe is the fact that we really don't get a lot of focus on the match until the last paragraph. Which, in fairness I think for a new character that's really hard to balance. I think new character promos often require a lot of fleshing out, and so focusing more on Nova than the other opponents isn't a bad thing. Your opponents are also new or returning from a long hiatus, so you don't have a lot to go off of anyway. Just keep in mind though that as Nova goes forward making sure her story and wrestling career story are intertwined in a balanced way is important.